When is it time to face facts?

[Courtney]

Thank you. I'm pretty torn up about it... but I also feel very relieved. Today was the first time I could manage to eat anything in about a week, which I figure is a good sign. My body was trying to tell me something, and I'm just glad I finally decided to listen.

 

[eroomlorac]

Good job. I know it is difficult but you are doing the right thing for YOU. Keep us posted on how it is going for you. Maybe you can consider some counseling down the road when things settle down. Counseling really helps you sort out the issues and learn to take care of YOURSELF.

 

[Essentia]

If you and Adam decide to stay together I would also consider couple's counseling. My husband and I had a really hard time before the wedding. He moved out for about 2 weeks and we were going to cancel the wedding. He actually came to me about couple's counseling. It was honestly amazing. After the first visit I looked forward to going. She taught us so much about the little things that get on each other's nerves that we didn't even realize we were doing. She also showed us great ways to talk to each other in a more constructive manner when we had issues, and all that jazz. All in all, I am very happy we did it. The sentence you stated about him playing video games and you being on the computer completely hit home. That was us. Don't get me wrong, we still do that, but we also do more things together and are generally just happier as a couple.

 

[Parkerspetchins]

I am so glad that you were able to talk to Adam and it sounds like he understood which is awesome. Quite honestly what his parents think is pretty much irrelevant. Now you can step back and think about what you want to do (and eat too lol). Adam sounds like a great guy, I hope everything works out well for you ).

 

[Laurie]

Glad you were able to talk Courtney. I second , third , fourth and so on and so on and so on with counseling. For yourself, with Adam, in any case you need to have someone help you get through this difficult time. While today was a day making a step forward unfortunately you've gone ten feet in a thousand mile trek. Try to keep yourself healthy!

 

[Courtney]

Oh, I definitely know that there's a long road ahead of me. I'm just really proud I took that first step for me, instead of worrying about other people. For the first time in my life, I did something for me and that feels pretty great.

Adam suggested counselling as well, which is something I might consider. I've been speaking to a lot of people myself (not counsellors, mind you, but unbiased parties) and they've helped... a counsellor might help more and I'm willing to try that. I really do think that a big part of Adam's attachment to me is not due to love... but rather because I was his first everything. That's why I stuck with my ex so long... he was my first and you build an emotional dependency and attachment toward them. I think that while Adam loves me, he's also a little scared of what will happen if we decide not to pursue a further relationship. He doesn't know anything else, and I think he's scared. We need to talk about that, as well.

 

[3CsMommy]

Woo hoo! Now, go enjoy something gooey and covered in chocolate (in moderation, of course) and celebrate taking care of yourself. *hugs*

 

[AlbertaGirl]

It sounds like you're handling every thing really well. Take 3Cs advice and get yourself a big slab of something chocolate and really ENJOY it!

 

[Courtney]

Oh, I don't want chocolate. I had a bowl of cereal earlier, and that was enough. I've been starving for the last week or so... I just can't keep anything down so I stopped trying. LOL. If I can pull anything positive out of that whole not-eating thing, it's that my tummy is nice and flat now. I feel like crap, but my stomach is flat.

 

[Jenn]

Courtney, good for you! I think you will continually start to feel better now that you've done this for yourself. I think maybe you and Adam should take a short break from eachother before you begin any counseling. This way you have time to get healthy, and to really decide what you both want. That way, if you do go to counseling together, it can be most productive. Good luck in whatever you decide. You have so much future ahead of you, so don't feel the need to rush through life. Take the time to "smell the roses" along the way!

 

[mishellyshel]

Good Luck Courtney. I think you are doing the right thing. Glad you hear you can finally keep something down.
As for the in law situation.............people like that rarely change. I knew my X-husbands mother was going to be trouble from the beginning because my husband was a mama's boy. And whatever mama wanted........mama got. And I suffered in the meantime.
I am now re-engaged and have been for over 2 years. And we have NO date set. And we are ok with that. my future MIL is a very nice person and i dont forsee the same problems.
You need to be ok with your decision. Good Luck with your parents and take care of yourself.

 

[Courtney]

So far, so good. My mom offered to talk to his mom, just to help them understand what social anxiety is and that prescription drugs aren't always the answer. I am going to the doctor this week just to get a blood test and see if something is out of whack, and try vitamin supplements or something.

So far, 2 of the 3 bridesmaids have been understanding of my health issues and have promised to stand beside me and help out however I need. The third just told me that she expects reimbursement for her dress. No mention of being sorry about our decision or wishing me the best in my health issues - just that the dress cost X and she wanted to be paid back. I told her I'd pop a cheque in the mail. I guess it shows where priorities lie for people. LOL.

 

[RDZCRanch]

I'm so happy things are working out! Comparing your first posts to this one you seem so much less tense which is better and means you're looking out for the right thing...YOU. Take care of yourself and I hope things continue to go well!

 

[Courtney]

LOL! The girl that wants to be reimbursed for the dress just upped the price when I told her I want the dress in exchange for the cheque.

Thanks, Tabitha. I feel much less stressed... even though his family is making it an absolute nightmare. They are not the least bit understanding about this and refusing to do anything to help. They tried to guilt us by telling us that we've inconvenienced everyone and ruined their summer... LOL. They want to come to Edmonton to talk to Adam only, not me, because they feel I've been a bad fit for him and that he's not the same person he was before.

I just have to say: called it! I knew his parents didn't like me, and this proves it.

 

[BooBoo*TheKiddo*]

I'm glad things are working out Courtney.

 

[addictedtochins]

LOL! The girl that wants to be reimbursed for the dress just upped the price when I told her I want the dress in exchange for the cheque.

You know saying "You'll find out who your real friends are." It certainly applies to this whole situation huh?

what you told her!

 

[RDZCRanch]

That is just so wrong on so many levels! I just don't understand how some men's(they aren't supposed to be little boys anymore) mothers can be like that! When I was 17 I dated a guy whose mother told him I would either marry him or break his heart but she was betting on the latter cause I looked like a tramp. When she first met me she gave me a very long lecture on what it takes to be acceptable for her son. Needless to say...she had no small part in my discontinuation of our relationship. Not to mention we were only together for a few months and she was already that overbearing.

Well, I hate to say it but I'm glad they aren't you in-laws! They need to get their priorities straight...take a step back and stop being so darn RUDE! I would LOVE to tell that mother off!

 

[Easterpiggy]

LOL! The girl that wants to be reimbursed for the dress just upped the price when I told her I want the dress in exchange for the cheque.

geez some people.:hair:

I am so glad you are feeling better. I hope you can keep something down soon.

 

[ABBY W.]

I hope Adam is prepared to put his parents in their place and put his relationship with you first.

I can't believe your one friend. How obnoxious! At least you know you have the other girls to lean on, and your parents are there for you. I'm glad you're feeling better!

 

[tunes]

Courtney - I would tell the girl, fine, eat the money for the dress. It's not like you're going to remain friends after this anyway, so what are you losing? You know how much the dress costs, and frankly, paying for it at all is way more than most people would do, so I would tell her to take a flying leap.

As far as MIL's, my exmoron's mother was a nightmare. It would take me DAYS to tell you all the crap she pulled, but two of the highlights are - When we first met, she took me aside for some girl time, pretending to be al friendly, then said "Don't get your hopes up dear, there are so many girls out there, how can you hope to hold onto him?" Well she was right there. After we got married he slept with anything in a skirt. The second was when I was pregnant with Rhiannon and she came over to ask me to prove that it was his and not someone I'd met in a bar.

There is soooo much more, but some I can't post in open forum. So Courtney, trust me when I say, if that's how his mom is, it's just not worth the rest of your life being in turmoil. It almost always comes down to the same thing; either Adam will choose his mom over you, or he'll end up cutting off all communication his mom, but trust me, his mom will never change.