Oh wow yall've never heard that one? it goes something like...
A girl was sick, and her parents were going out to dinner and they decided she could stay at home by herself and left. Her loyal dog always slept under her bed and licked her hand whenever she draped her arm over the side. She got a phone call from her parents saying "We just heard on the radio that an escaped mental patient is on the loose, just stay in bed and everything'll be alright." Well, she hears a noise and gets scared, calls the police and hangs her arm over the side of the bed and feels the licking, everything was good. Police get there, she goes down to greet them, they find her dog dead behind the couch. She says "That can't be! He's under my bed, he licked my hand!" and the cop gets his gun out and says "Humans can lick too..."
Freaky stuff man. Freaky.