Parents of toddlers/preschoolers: Opinions please.

[Bethany2386]

Ok, well if they are undermining your authority, of course it's going to show that kid that he doesn't have to listen to you. It seems like they don't really understand what abusing animals can escalate to. It seems like you do have higher standards for that child. I wouldn't leave the chin there with him. If he knows that you don't let him near your chin, then when you aren't there he may try. Kids at that age need to learn respect for all living things. It's hard to deal with kids that aren't yours. I know that since my children are my stepchildren. I cannot and wouldn't spank them out of respect for their mom and dad (my hubby). But there are times when they talk back that I would love to just smack them. Instead, they get in trouble. But they know that they better respect me and what I say. Of course at first, they did not, but I told my hubby that he needed to explain to them that they have to respect me. It's so much nicer once everyone is on the same page. I hope that you are able to take your chin with you...

 

[Spoof]

What I don't understand is that it's only the animals and those of us in the house all the time that he's like this with.

Big red sign of lack of consistent discipline in your house. It isn't how you do it - it's that you are all on the same page. Even a 3 year old can play adults against each other.

I would take the chin with me, dogs are easier to work with than unwilling parents. )

 

[Bostongirl'sChin75]

I have 3 very rambunctious boys, ages 9, 13, and 14 and they all were taught from the time they could crawl how to treat animals. One of my children is severely ADHD and while I was worried about having a Chinny with him being hyper, it has actually turned out well for us both. He helps me clean the cage and feed Herby and holds her but he understands that she is very fragile and can be hurt. But only because I taught him this and he learned the lesson by mishandling one of his hammies, when I was out for the evening. This child obviously has been very spoiled because he was born premature and will continue to be until someone steps in and gives him what for. ( I also am all for spanking and discipline, as long as it is done right ) If I were you, I would take the chin with me and keep him with me so I knew he was safe. It will be better for you and for Crash. Better for you, because you will be able to sleep knowing he is bored but fine and better for him because he will be less stressed. If this is not possible, then maybe a rethink of the holidays would be in order.

I wish you the best of luck with the little demon..errrr..I mean child and his parents.

 

[equus_peduus]

Besides the danger to the cats, the potential danger to the chin, and the potential danger to the child (cat bites are nothing to joke about), it seems like you need to be on the same wavelength as the parents.

Even if the parents "trust your judgement" when they're not around, it sounds like they don't when they are. You all need to sit down and figure out what the rules are so that all the adults in the household can apply them fairly to A so that A doesn't know that he can get away with certain types of behavior with certain people. It would seem that the animal abuse (because that's what it sounds like we've got going here) is one of many ways that A is demonstrating his lack of discipline; he may or may not mean to be abusive, but he is. And he's probably being abusive to inanimate objects as well.

I'm not a parent, so take this for what it's worth. But one thing I do know is that children need consistency and boundaries, and it sounds like while you're trying to be consistent and set boundaries, the parents aren't, which sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Good luck. Sounds like you need to keep your chin away from the kid as much as possible (which probably in the short term means you'll need to take him with you). Be careful with the cats as well... probably better not to foster any more kittens til this is all figured out.

 

[Riven]

Lack of discipline is that same as no discipline. 500 warnings is not discipline. If you go out and kill someone you don't get a warning about it... If you rob a bank you don't get a warning... if you beat your kids you don't get a warning.

Welcome little A, this is life, get over it.

If you don't see yourself out of there soon, I would for the sake of your sanity, your chinnie, and the new baby talk to the family. If you have a video recorder record him being naughty, then find videos on youtube that are similar and ask the parents what they think of that child... when/if they say they're a little monster say well it looks a lot like this huh and show them the video their child.

When our kids were really bad, we'd video them and show it back to them later so they could see exactly how they looked when they acted out.

Depending on the parents you might be able to just explain that their child is not ready for a new baby to be born and you're worried about the baby, kids get really jealous of new babies when they're been the only child. Sit down with them and explain what you'd like to see, and suggest a plan, and ask that you all agree on a plan so you're all working together, instead of undermining each other, and when he acts out prevent any undermining by saying " you're mom and dad and I have already talked about this and this is going to happen" It will remind them what they agreed to, and before enforcing the new rules, give A. one sit down with the parents and you to go over the rules. People say talking to children doesn't work, but I'll tell you that if you warn them... they see seem to remember some of it, and what they don't remember they recall after proper discipline.

Bethany, I understand you're in a tough spot. All kids here get treated the same, if it's my kids, my nieces, or my friends kids. If you're having problems with back talking I'd definitely let your husband know you're at a loss sometimes and don't feel like you have the "right" to discipline them if he's not around.

Even my niece who's parents supposedly live penny by penny is spoiled rotten. She wasn't happy with the present she got from us for Christmas and made it known. I got a game for her and her sister and each of them a very soft micro fleece blanket. They already have a ton of toys... My kids noted that they got less presents this year in private to me later, not directly to the ones who didn't get them anything this year. So many kids have no proper manners, especially old fashioned thank you cards and such... just something gone. Very sad.

 

[3CsMommy]

Crash is going with me, under the caveats that 1) The door of the room he's in will remain closed at all times so Boy Thing's mom won't have to see "the rodent" and the chow chow mix won't see "a snack" and 2) I take the big/sturdy cage in case the chow chow mix pushes the door open. I'm pretty confident a 90 pound dog can't get a QC cage open just through force of will without attracting our attention in time, but I might also back it into a closet/alcove just to play safe. (Crash is also used to dogs and can deliver a pretty good nip if necessary.)

*HUGE sigh of relief*

Now to gear him up for the drive. Luckily transporting a chin is something I've done a time or three, so no worries there. And, I get an almost 3 week break from the child. My holidays just got much brighter.

Thanks, everyone, for the input. Once I'm back from Carolina, I'm sitting down to talk with the mom about what we can do better to turn A. into a gentleman, not a burden.

 

[Bethany2386]

Glad to hear you were able to take him with you! I am sorry that you have all the rules. I don't think that people realize that chinchillas are rodents, but they aren't disgusting or dirty. Haha, my friend's hubby just realized that he is going to be picking up rodents for me and she said that he said eww. HAHA! I think that it's funny when people get all grossed out then when they see them, they realize that they aren't gross.

 

[mishellyshel]

I converted a small bird cage for my chin when I had to take him away for the weekend.
It was big enough to fit his tube & a couple of shelves and his little bed. I would then just take him out in the bathroom a couple times a day so he wouldnt be so "cooped" up.
It worked out really well and it wasnt so big that I couldnt manage or carry it.
good luck.

 

[Jazicat]

Is there any way that you can hang the chinchilla cage? We do that with our bird cages to assure that no cats can ever reach them. I also hope that the three of you have a wonderful holiday vacation!

 

[addictedtochins]

My bird cages have always just had tiny feeble tabs holding the base to the wire cage, I think a bounding jumping chin would bust outta there.

 

[mishellyshel]

the one i had was not a hanging one. and it was small enough to bring room to room. although i kept a light cover over it as i didnt want the hotel staff to know i had him with me.