I don't really know you and I don't think we've had any interaction at all thus far (though your chinnie boys are sweet), but I feel as though the only way you're going to take heed of what anyone shares with you is to be blunt. And that's what I'm going to do.
At 15 years old you should not have to deal with what you're dealing with. However, that being said, you're not a "victim" here and I'm not going to treat you as one. From reading your prior posts it is obvious that you are getting something out of being the "victim." The controlling boyfriend, the "cutter," the constant onslaught of suitors...the common denominator here is you. What is it that you get out of being in situations such as those? What are you getting out of being the constant "victim?"
A boyfriend that is controlling is a dangerous thing. Women should be respected and someone who is obsessive and controlling is someone who is potentially dangerous. Domestic violence and dating violence is a very serious matter and I'm sorry that you had to deal with being in a relationship with someone who was not conscious of your wants and needs (or who chose not to acknowledge them). The advice and support you received here was spot on and I'm relieved to know that you have since taken a stand for yourself and walked away from the relationship. But, some of that advice also came with a very wise warning: take some time for yourself...without boys and without relationships. The people who gave that support and advice, in many instances, have many years of experience on you. They also had the ability to see the situation objectively and without the emotional filter that you and those close to you looked through. And, that being said, they saw a reason to advise you to steer clear of relationships. So why is it that you jumped from one bed to another (figuratively, of course)? What does being in a relationship do for you? Why do you feel you need the attention from boys? Is it insecurity? Fear? Again, what does getting involved with boys give you that you feel you need?
Now, about the "cutter." I am not a self-injurer nor have I ever been. But, from what I know about self-injury I am confident to say that someone who is truly harming themselves will not take a picture of it to send via text message as a means of threatening another person into caring about them. Self-injurious behavior is a private, shameful matter. It's not one that someone would announce willy-nilly. Once again, it sounds as though you are dealing with someone who is manipulating you. And until you are mature enough -- and age goes a long way here -- to see through manipulation and provocative behavior you should not be in a "serious" relationship. However, regardless of whether this boy is cutting himself as a means of wooing you or as part of mental illness, he needs help. And you need to be grown up enough to talk to an adult about this.
You're so young yet. And, honestly, to my eye you seem incredibly naive. I don't know if you're even able to fully comprehend the danger your putting yourself in. And it's not just the obvious. What is this doing to your self esteem? How is this constant drama affecting you on a deeper level? And until you're able to answer those questions and more I sincerely hope you make the decision to take a step back and work on being a teenager again instead of a very foolish adult. It's not a criticism of you -- you are a child yet...whether you want to believe it or not. And with all that is going on around you I can't help but wonder where your parents are. In my opinion they need to take a good, hard look at what's going on, step in, get you some help, and then work with you to help you mature into the amazing young woman you can be. You have a lot of potential and you're far from incapable, but you are also just a child and I think you're a child with some issues that need to be worked out before something more serious comes fruition.
Nothing I said here is to be mean. I'm not misunderstanding your situation. I was a teenager once and it wasn't even that long ago. But I also have much more life experience than you and I truly feel that you need to change this behavior or else you're going to run into some major trouble down the road. And I don't think any of us want to read a thread 6 months from now telling us that x, y, and z has now happened. I'm harsh because I care -- regardless of whether I know you or not. And there are others here who care as well. But now it's time to take care of yourself and I really hope you're willing to do that. And, maybe even more than that I hope you're parents are willing to do that with you. These issues as a 15 year old aren't appropriate for a chinchilla forum -- they warrant some care on consideration from those who know and can help you in real time. I truly do hope you get that help...
