Need some input here!! All the guys ask at once!

[AnnShh]

Alright. I need some input on what to do here.
I have a guy friend who has kinda turned into a 'potential boyfriend' situation. When asked if we are "together" neither one of us say yes, its usually just a "we're seeing where it goes" situation. He seems like the type of guy who is nervous when it comes to the whole relationship thing.

Another guy has started talking to me and has gotten more and more flirtatious. From what he says it sounds like he's wanted to get the courage to talk to me for awhile and just now finally did. Any other time I would definately go along with it and be interested in getting to know him and possibly go on a date with if he asked. Both guys more than likely know eachother but not on the level that either one would know the other was talking to me.

I've asked some friends and nobody really knows what to do in this situation.

So I ask you- what would you do? Is it wrong for me to flirt with guy #2 and potentially go out with him if he asks? My roommate says I'm still single and that I should definately go for it since the other guy isn't really making any moves and the few he has have been really slow. A few friends agree... a few others think I should talk to guy #1 and explain my dilema (I'm not sure exactly how to bring that up if I should). One suggested talking to his roommate (who I'm friends with) to get his opinion. I think either way I am going to have some sort of regret / what if's. I don't want to turn guy #2 down only to find out nothing ever comes of the situation with the first guy. But I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or make the first guy feel like I betrayed him or anything. I'm not wanting to push guy #1 into anything, but I just don't know what to do in this situation. Help??

 

[lauralynne]

How old are you?

Since you and guy #1 are not exclusive, you have every right to talk to (flirt with, whatever) guy #2.

Chances are, because guy #1 isn't committing to anything, if you talk to him, he's going to feel pressured by you to become exclusive.

IMO, there's no reason not to go out w/ guy #2.

 

[caiti]

Go with whomever you're more attracted to. Or just take your time to figure out who you'd be more compatible with. You don't have to be in a labelled romantic relationship to get to know people. If you don't know what you want to do--then don't do anything. Wait til you figure it out in your head. And meanwhile enjoy having two pursuers!!! If either asks you out, tell them you just need time to think about if you're ready for a relationship (I would avoid telling them you are considering dating someone else, people generally do not take blows to their ego well. Stereotypically males).

I wouldn't freak out about it too much (I know that's easier said than done; everything seems more important in the moment). It's one relationship with one person in the span of your whole life. Basically, no one can tell you what you should do, it's one of those things you need to take a bunch of time thinking about, unfortunately.

 

[GorillaJTA]

From a guy's perspective-
This is a good opportunity to press the issue with if you really want a relationship with guy #1. Force him to man up and make a decision. Ask him outright if he wants to be in a relationship. If he gets a "doe in the headlights" look, then he might be best relegated to the friend zone.
You need to clarify your position with guy #1 or you risk losing both if #2 does not work out, because if you start dating #2 and #1 thought y'all were taking it slow but were eventually going somewhere, then you have hurt him. Guys hate feeling like a backburner possibility, so just think about how you would feel if #1 all of a sudden started dating someone else. If you would be ok with that, then you still feel open enough about the relationship to date others as well.

 

[RDZCRanch]

I agree with, Jer on this one. While you aren't exclusive with guy #1, it still sounds to me like you guys could be going somewhere. If he feels pressured into a relationship, chances are he'll bail, but then you'll know it was never going anywhere to begin with.

If there's one thing guys hate above all else, it's playing games. Being straight forward and honest instead of toying with them is the best way to go.

 

[Laurie]

Ann don't wait around for #1 to get his stuff together.

 

[3CsMommy]

Talk to Guy #1. "Look, 'Guy #2' kinda wants to date me, but I don't know what to tell him until I know what's going on with us first. Are we exclusive? Do you want to be?" Be prepared to lay out what you could see happening down the road with Guy #1 if you have that kind of conversation.