Honesty

[ticklechin]

Truth is such a rare thing, it is delightful to tell it. ~Emily Dickinson.

I like to believe in honesty, but sometimes you have to wonder when answers are vague about necropsy results, whether the chin went to a vet, whether a rescue was really pregnant prior to ownership, whether you are or are not breeding. Should inquiries just be dropped when they are not responded too or the story changes? I am conflicted, since usually the chins lose if a person feels pounced on but they also lose because there is a reason someone is being dishonest about how they are treating their chins or not treating their chins.

 

[tunes]

Sadly, you can't force anyone to tell you the truth. Regardless of whether you keep asking, or keep checking, or keep worrying - people are only going to tell you what they want to tell you, especially if telling the truth would shine a light on their lies.

All you can do is watch and wait. The people who do this are always caught out in the end - whether it's here or on other public forums. The forum community is really pretty small. Most people who belong to one belong to more and the people who do this always slip up and post the truth on a different forum, then it gets brought back "home."

 

[lilchinchilla]

I'm not sure if this thread is in reference to anything particular, or just at random. But I do know what you mean. I am skeptical of anything anyone says.

When you have someone you've known for 5 or more years, who appears one way, and then ends up the other way (especially when it comes to vet care or lack of.), and they are someone who would nag you to death that you're going to **** for not being a specific religion...imo they should be the one going there, for not taking their pets to a vet, when they were critically in need of being seen(i.e. requiring surgery badly and meds!).

Or the person who says they would never sell a chinchilla to a bad home, then does just that, and tries to say they forgot you had warned them, after their chin died in that home within a month of living there.

I've seen enough to know just to be skeptical of anything anyone ever says unless you see it or proof of it with your own eyes.

 

[Dragonflye]

PLEASE STAY ON TOPIC!! Thank you!

 

[aznmexaggie]

I don't know if it's just me, but I find it hard to believe the words of someone who has ever been neglectful of their chins in the past. Those who say they couldn't find a vet and their chin suffered until death, or those that said they aren't breeding yet they have babies popping out of thin air, or those that say they adopted rescue chins yet they have babies well after 111 days since they were rescued, or those that constantly change their stories. After someone lies or says something fishy once I can't ever trust what they say ever again. This is not aimed at anyone in particular. There are many people who have given me that feeling... A lot of threads I don't even post to but I read them and develop my doubts of certain people.

 

[Claire D]

Sadly, you can't force anyone to tell you the truth. Regardless of whether you keep asking, or keep checking, or keep worrying - people are only going to tell you what they want to tell you, especially if telling the truth would shine a light on their lies.

All you can do is watch and wait. The people who do this are always caught out in the end - whether it's here or on other public forums. The forum community is really pretty small. Most people who belong to one belong to more and the people who do this always slip up and post the truth on a different forum, then it gets brought back "home."

I've got to agree with this - spend long enough on the forums & this happens again & again. Someone comes in, spews forth tales of woe with little substance, refuses to answer questions aimed at clarifying stuff, & then flounces off in a huff, crying "unfair". Usually they appear on another forum with a slightly different version of the same story - it ends the same every time because they get found out.

Forums can bring out the best & worst in people but the really sad thing is when the chins suffer because someone can't just tell the truth.

We all make mistakes - the signs of a mature & responsible chinchilla owner are taking criticism squarely, listening to the advice, learning from those mistakes, & changing your practice/husbandry/care in line with what you have learned.

 

[mishalaa]

Yea, I think inquiries should be dropped. If a person doesn't care enough about their chins to tell the truth, I don't think there's any helping them or the chin. They only lie when they know they are guilty of something anyway.

 

[ABBY W.]

I agree. If a person believes they have done nothing wrong, then they have nothing to hide. Lieing is a sign of a guilty conscience, imo.

 

[3CsMommy]

I usually stop trying to dig out the truth because, as Peggy says, it comes out eventually without much help from outside. But, when it's someone irl, I try to stay close enough to step in for the animal/child's sake when the owner/parent has them fubar. The adults are welcome to continue being idiots; the animal/child shouldn't have to suffer if it can avoided.

 

[AZChins]

I don't trust very many people any more at all. There's so many stories that people make up. Although, sometimes the truth is more disturbing than their lies.

Liars do eventually prove to be dishonest. A few people have hurt me so much with their lies, others have just made themselves look bad.

For the life of me I don't understand people posting something different on other forums expecting that they won't be called on their lies...like no one will read it and figure out the lies.

 

[Laurie]

I think it is humane nature to inquire and be curious to the outcome, but I also think ( and yes I do really think this) that it is humane nature to lie when caught. Most people do not come out and say, yes I did it and I was wrong. We wouldn't need defense lawyers if people admitted to wrong doing. BUT I think there is nothing wrong with asking, but if you ask once and do not get an answer I think you should just let it drop because ou will drive your own self crazy waiting for an answer that most likely will not come.

 

[ticklechin]

I guess Karma will take care of business when it comes to the dishonest.

 

[starleomach]

I keep a running mental list of people I know to be liars or other on the forums. It always comes out. I think it is ok to question and ask as when you no longer get the responses it may open others eyes to that person

 

[Spoof]

I'm with Dawn - karma will get you eventually.

 

[6Dusters]

Each person will choose his path in life. In reference to any pets life there is going to be a full spectrum of "respondsible" ownership. It will greatly differ from yours.

Now having said that.........there are going to be people who believe a lie is a justified means of telling "their" side of a story. Personally I have gone back through forum members past posts or threads to get a better idea of where they are comming from if I am the least bit suspicious. And then there are those who come in and don't post often but the thread is just so full of c**p.

The chinchilla world is very small. Ask anyone who attends shows or runs a rescue or is a member on various forums. You cannot hide for long if you lie about the care of your animals or your breeding practices. And don't even try to "re-invent yourself. You can't hide stupid.

 

[Brittany_Lynn]

I haven't been lucky enough to witness anyone who actually deserved it get their "karma". Unfortunately for the chinchillas involved, I don't think it happens...I think we just like to believe it does happen. Then again, I'm a pessimist.

 

[AZChins]

Naw, people get theirs in the end. I've seen many chin people really catch it after lying and being deceitful for years. Karma does catch up with people eventually. Or, maybe their reputations just get destroyed.

That reminds me of one person, who pretended to be me for a bit. Luckily people figured that out pretty quick so no one, who really matters to me, thought she was me.

 

[Riven]

Darn it Susan... I thought you were over that...

I agree that eventually it will catch up with you on this plane or another, in one area or another.

There is not only those who blatantly liar, there are also the "fudgers" the ones who don't exactly tell a lie, but don't exactly tell the truth. They let other people assume something wrongly instead of correcting it, then you have the people who will climb all over someone if they can to get where they want to be. But in the end, if you screw enough people over your rep. will get ruined and your friends will abandon you.

If you are not any of the above you can still get hit, like Susan said, a victim of circumstance, but if you ride it out, in the end, the lies will come out and you will be the better person.

As for on the forums, I generally don't bother wasting my time, they won't listen anyway, and I mark them with the people who are wanting sympathy because their chin died after they left them in a plastic ball in a hot car while in the store when it's 100 outside or something equally idiotic. I'm sorry, but if I do something stupid, I don't expect anyone to feel bad for me. If I lose a pet because I did something stupid, the pet is the only one who deserves any sympathy.

 

[addictedtochins]

That reminds me of one person, who pretended to be me for a bit.

Yeah, I faked that really well until it was time to eat baby chins like you do. Arrg the peeping still haunts me

 

[AZChins]

Yeah, I faked that really well until it was time to eat baby chins like you do. Arrg the peeping still haunts me

THAT is the funniest thing I have ever read in my life.

People get found out with lies...they always do, no matter what.