Help for a suicidal boy

[TillyChinchilla]

I'll have to join the "I was that way too" group. I spent time in-patient, many years on meds, even more in therapy, family and individual. Eventually I just grew out of the depression (more seasonal than anything). I still have bouts of it now, but nothing like it was before. I no longer take meds or have to go to therapy.

Best advice I can offer is to find a good therapist. I don't want this to sound offensive, but if he REALLY wanted to kill himself, he would have done it and not be going through this drama. People freak out about throwing the "attention" card out there - but it sounds like with the spotlight on his mom and other family issues, and threats of suicide, that is what it is to some extent.

 

[Laurie]

Chantel,
NAMI.org is everywhere! Lynelle suffers from bi-polar disorder and her medication has helped leaps and bounds. We cannot believe the difference in her and we're happy to see her balanced. Nami did wonders for Lynelle when she was lost and because of that she now works for them and is able to help others the way she was helped.
I agree with everyone when they say the best thing for your nephew is therapy. My thoughts are with you Chantel!

 

[mercynursie]

prayers

So sorry to hear that your family is going through this but PLEASE don't let him "fall through the healthcare cracks." Our community just lost a young adult who has been battling mental issues and relationship problems for a few years.Many people are not aware that you can go to local magistrate and have involuntary commitment papers served to force a troubled person into a safer enviroment,BUT if that person signs themself in at the treatment facility voluntarily-they can sign back out at any time, the INVOLUNTARY order is no good. Unfortunately many of the people who need help the most are aware of this and get around the system that is trying to help them.Yes, attempted suicides are often for attention/cry for help. Regardless of how much that person may swear that they didn't really try to hurt themselves,strong action must be taken by the ones that love them. I myself am a nurse,my husband is both a paramedic and vol fireman . Believe me, there's nothing worse than seeing a communities anguish over a loss due to suicide and the pain of wondering "what sign did I miss?" Know that you and yours are in our prayers .

 

[Mt. Zion Chins]

I strongly disagree with the statement 'if he really wanted to kill himself, he would have done it' - Sometimes people are calling out for help by threatening and trying but then if they don't get the help they need, they then unfortunately do it As said by many the teen needs good professional help - There is absolutely no shame in getting help or receiving that help - I too have been there

 

[TillyChinchilla]

Then suicide isn't what he really wanted, he needed to do something dramatic to call the attention that there is something wrong. People who are truly suicidal don't go around saying they want to commit suicide. If he took a combo of pills that "did no major damage" he isn't truly suicidal, just desperate for something else.

mercynursie, if the person in question is a minor, they can not sign themselves out of an inpatient clinic, this might vary by state but I doubt it.

 

[Jeanette]

Antidepressants take a month to work, and I don't know if he has that long.

They take a month to even start to work.
And not all medications work for every person. Sometimes it can be 6 months before you even start to see changes in the person. Antidepressants are not the 'fix everything' drug people make them out to be. They don't take away all of those feelings or thoughts...

 

[oxchincerelyxo]

Then suicide isn't what he really wanted, he needed to do something dramatic to call the attention that there is something wrong. People who are truly suicidal don't go around saying they want to commit suicide. If he took a combo of pills that "did no major damage" he isn't truly suicidal, just desperate for something else.

I disagree with this statement totally...Don't get me wrong, some people do just use the attention card, like superficial cutters opposed to more intense cutters etc. but how was he susposed to know the cancer meds wouldn't do damage? I would have guessed they would have-I think it is just a statement that isn't well supported.

Either way, this isn't a debate. Either way he needs help, support and change.

I hope all the best

 

[Chinniechantel]

Thank you everyone. I just spoke with his mom, and she is so scared. They did go to a cabin up in Tahoe for the weekend as a family, hopefully that helped a little.

He has to be watched every 15 minutes, and her husband is in China on a business trip. He is seeing a therapist, and I made it very clear to my aunt that he needs to trust and like the therapist and that talking would be his best chance.

Thanks again for all the suggestions and thoughts and prayers.

 

[LucksAngel28]

I'm glad he is talking to the therapist! That is definitely a great start on his road to recovery! I will continue to keep your family in my prayers!

 

[ChilliPepper]

I also have to disagree with the statement that if he really wanted to do it, he would have done it by now. On my birthday, in March, my co-worker shot himself. He did it in a remote location and put a lot of thought into it. As his family went through his things they found out he had been working on getting things in order since November. There is still a lot of pain in the office, a lot of thinking if we could have called some help for him. Please get this boy some good help. Don't let them shove pills at him and tell him it will be ok, he needs to be able to get his thoughts straight.

 

[TillyChinchilla]

That's not what I said. Did your coworker go around for five months saying to everyone he was depressed and wanted to kill himself? He truly thought it was the only option. People who are set on suicide don't bring attention to themselves. There is no doubt this child needs help, but he doesn't want to die.

I hope things are getting better for him now. The constant supervision may be a really good thing.

 

[Mt. Zion Chins]

no he doesn't want to die NOW (right now it is a 'cry for help') However if he doesnt' get the help he just might decided 'it is hopeless' and then really want to die

 

[TillyChinchilla]

no he doesn't want to die NOW (right now it is a 'cry for help') However if he doesnt' get the help he just might decided 'it is hopeless' and then really want to die

Exactly, and it sounds like they are doing a good job getting him help and not ignoring the cry for help.