First week of college... vent kind of.

[AnnShh]

I got here on Friday and classes started yesterday. Love my professers that I"ve had so far (but that was only for 3/8 classes), love the campus, but don't like the people! I'm 15 hours from home and so far the only friend here I have is my roommate (who's also far-ish from home). I've gone out to all the activities they've had, and even camped outside inline waiting for football tickets hoping I might meet people. No luck. People here are friendly in the way that they'll say hi if you pass them, but thats pretty much it. I feel like they already have their groups and when my roomie and I try to talk to people we just kind of get the feeling that they really don't want us there or that they're just interested in partying.

I know this sort of thing takes time, but I would have hoped that I'd at least know *someone* here besides my roommate. I'm generally really quiet and while I wouldn't say I make friends incredibly easy, it's not difficult for me either. To be honest, it's not having problems missing home/my parents, but I miss my friends terribly and I find myself wishing I had gone to school closer to home so that I'd know someone. And to be honest, this sounds horrible I know, but a lot of these people I really can't see myself being friends with.

Sorry, this is just a vent. I hope it gets better with time. If it's like this all year I'm not sure I'll come back to school here.

 

[Rickman]

But you've always got us at your fingertips!! And we're here 24/7, too!!

 

[addictedtochins]

I hope it gets better with time. If it's like this all year I'm not sure I'll come back to school here.

You are going to stumble across this post in 3 months and laugh like crazy. Everything will be OK and you will find some great friends, just give everything some time.

 

[Essentia]

But you've always got us at your fingertips!! And we're here 24/7, too!!

While that's true, I completely understand how she feels. I have lived in Jacksonville for about 7 years and still have yet to make a good friend here. It wears on you. Luckily I have my husband. If I didn't I would have completely gone crazy and moved back to Pensacola.

That being said I'm not the best person to give advice on this. I do hope things turn around for you and you are able to meet people and have some lasting friendships.

 

[Melissa]

Is club week this week? Or do you have to wait another week or so to sign up for a club. Its a great way to meet people with common interests. Maybe rush a sorority or something. I will never regret rushing!

I hope you find some good people to hang out with. Good luck!

 

[EveningChin]

I completely understand. My freshman year I came at spring semester so everyone had a whole semester under their belt with friends in place when I got there. The only advice I have is go to class, every class, and try and get study groups, and hang out in the lobby of your dorm. Make yourself readily available for hanging out.

Don't prejudge people either. Some of the people I thought were... not my kind of people, ended up being my best friends. Give every one a chance. Then again I was the practical joke queen, and every one wanted to be in on it.

Make mini plans and invite everyone. One of the best things I ever did to make friends was drag my tv and dvd player into the lobby of my floor and piled up the furniture and made a fort. Soon almost the entire floor was be stuffed in there.

Another good one, I dragged a couch into the elevator and rode for like an hour. Its a good way to make people interact with you.

The first week is rough and every one is clinging to the first people they meet. They will branch and so will you.

 

[Lynn & The Chins]

Sarah -- you're MY type of girl!!! I LOVE the couch in the elevator!!!

I want to be back in college!!!

 

[3CsMommy]

Facebook your campus. You'll find people there. Ditto on OkCupid or similar networking sites. You'll find the other people thinking "Where the heck did all these losers come from and how did I end up in college with them?" Then, sign up for an activity, or get a job on campus (library can be good for meeting people and isn't as messy as, say, recycling pick up). It'll happen. It's a little unrealistic to expect to find BFFs in the first week, but it'll happen.

 

[Isabella Whateva]

What school do you go to? I'm from VA too. I might have some friends at your school I could point you to... or at least some advice from them on how to make friends at your specific school. (You can PM it to me if you're not comfortable posting it on the boards)

 

[BooBoo*TheKiddo*]

Sarah -- you're MY type of girl!!! I LOVE the couch in the elevator!!!

I want to be back in college!!!

Oh man. I'm going to the local college for 2 years then transferring but my best friend is at a university. I'm hoping to go spend a weekend with her. We will totally drag a couch into the elevator.lol

I say give it some time. It's just the first week. People are still trying to get the feel of college life for themselves.

 

[Luci]

hey! it'll be ok. believe me, i know this kind of stuff is overwhelming!

i started college 3 years ago. its about 800 miles away from my hometown and NO ONE from my school was here. my roommate was from my hometown but we only met at orientation a few weeks before. but i PROMISE that things get easier.

i remember crying every night cuz i was the only one out of my group of friends who left home. imagine that, theyre all together and im all alone. things got better though. you'll meet people everywhere. dorm life eventually does that. and one thing- do not go straight to your room after every class. hang out in large areas, eat in the caf, kinda force yourself to be out there, even if youre not talking. im extremely shy, and at times i wanted to go home instead, but then again, we're gonna have to face living on our own one day, right?

like others mentioned, join clubs. at least one or 2 that you really like.

things get better hun, and as you know, we're here.

 

[tunes]

My daughter will be leaving for college next year, 11 hours away from home, and will not know a soul there. The one thing the admissions counselor stressed to her was to get involved. Find people with common interests and join those clubs. This particular campus has a lot of trips for super cheap -- skiing, white water rafting, etc. She is really looking forward to going to several of those as well. As mentioned before, it's all about putting yourself out there. Get involved, walk up to people and introduce yourself. There is a whole campus full of people for you to meet, you just need to put yourself in a position to meet them.

 

[AnnShh]

hey! it'll be ok. believe me, i know this kind of stuff is overwhelming!

i started college 3 years ago. its about 800 miles away from my hometown and NO ONE from my school was here. my roommate was from my hometown but we only met at orientation a few weeks before. but i PROMISE that things get easier.

i remember crying every night cuz i was the only one out of my group of friends who left home. imagine that, theyre all together and im all alone. things got better though. you'll meet people everywhere. dorm life eventually does that. and one thing- do not go straight to your room after every class. hang out in large areas, eat in the caf, kinda force yourself to be out there, even if youre not talking. im extremely shy, and at times i wanted to go home instead, but then again, we're gonna have to face living on our own one day, right?

like others mentioned, join clubs. at least one or 2 that you really like.

things get better hun, and as you know, we're here.

This. Is exactly me. I'm 15 hours away from home, and all of my friends stayed in-state. A lot of my classes are small luckilly, but nobody really talks to anyone else. I eat lunch in the cafe somedays which hopefully will eventually help, but I usually end up sitting alone. I guess I just don't want to be that person who asks to sit with someone and ruins their convo or whatever. I probably need to just get over it and do it eventually.

I haven't seen any info for clubs but I do want to join some. My problem is that I don't know if I will have time! I"m taking 20 credit hours and even with it being the first week of classes I"m already jam packed with homework. I need a 3.5gpa to get into my minors program. One of my friends back home (my "exboyfriend" actually... we broke up because I was going so far away ) said that I might not have much time for a social life because of my course load. I now understand why everyone I talked to told me I was crazy for taking 20 credit hours. It's nuts. I'm the type of person who doesn't mind staying in the dorm room, doing homework or whatever. But at the same time, it would be nice to have people to hang out with at lunch or in between classes.

 

[3CsMommy]

So don't stay in your dorm room to do your home work. Go to the library or the student union (which will probably have air conditioning, b/c gods know the dorms I had sure didn't!). More chance of meeting people there, but you'll still be able to get your work done.

 

[alli713]

I agree with what everyone's said. If you're studying in your room, leave the door open.
Also, your RA should be planning some things to get the students in the building together. At least that's what we did the first weeks of school back when I was a RA. We planned things like decorating betta fish bowls, horseback riding, ice cream social, movie nights etc. And this lets people in your building get together to get to know each other better. I would think that if you have a RA, they should be doing things like these sometime soon. Just make sure you go to them.

This dilemma was one of the reasons I loved the college I went to for my first 2 years of college. For all the freshmen, we had to go on an orientation trip lasting anywhere from 3 days to a week. We got to choose which trip we wanted to go on. I went on the camping and kayaking to the Apostle Islands trip. There were also trips like hiking, biking, canoeing etc. There were groups of about 10 people along with orientation leaders who were either juniors or seniors. Being in the group for a week let us get to know some people before school started, and I stayed friends with a majority of the people in my orientation group for the rest of college. I think more colleges should do something like this as it was really fun and let people make friends much easier!

 

[Stackie]

I made basically all of my college friends in classes. I'm a biology major so a lot of my classwork is lab oriented. We had to break into lab groups and do several assignments as a team, so we spent a lot of overtime together in the labs doing lab reports and the likes.

So if you do any group work for a class, don't be shy and don't focus solely on the class work. As your class mates if they'd like to go out to lunch together after the lab is over.

This works really well too, because since you guys are friends already, you can form study groups for the tests without feeling awkward.

 

[Isabella Whateva]

Definitely form study groups. Do you guys use on online program like Blackboard or Scholar? I use that to look at the class roster and add the people in my classes on facebook. Then when it comes close to a quiz or test (or if I've just fallen behind,) you can message them and ask who wants to meet to study. Be sure to go to dinner or watch a movie afterwards.

 

[Luci]

hey now, take a few deep breaths, i think youre stressing too much about this! you CAN and should have a social life when youre in college. maybe not like party party party, but its good to meet people that you can go to the movies with, relax, and just make some college memories.

in a way, yes, youre a bit nuts for taking that many hours. maybe i shouldnt be talking though, ive only taken 17 at most each semester. if youre feeling a bit overwhelmed and the option of dropping a class is available, maybe you can consider it. i say that only because come the first round of tests, midterms, and finals, all those courses will be testing at similar dates.

while i know school is important, so is making connections with people. college isnt just about study study study, having friends makes it worthwhile. keep your head up, stay on top of your studies, and get out there and make some friends! i met my current roommate by telling her i liked her shirt when we were at the salad bar. crazy how the tiniest similarities can bring people together. you'll do fine! the first weekend is coming up, study a lil but make time to talk a walk outside, everyone else will be mingling too!

 

[nicky]

Don't worry, it hasn't even been a week yet. You'll meet new people with time. I know it's easy for me to say because I'm not there. But,I'm sure that you and your roommate aren't the only new ones who feel this way.You'll meet new people and friends, hang in there. It'll get better with time.