So today... we had a major re-organization group, and I found out a lot of things.
Hailey was bawling, Crystal was almost bawling, and I was just almost bawling because Hailey was crying that she missed me and wanted to come home ( I don't do well with crying children or sick animals, lol ). Everyone was just so about ready to explode...
Hailey said Crystal was controlling how to spend her money. I wanted this to be a learning deal for Hailey to work on spending her money wisely, not be told what to spend it on. I'm getting to different stories, and I'm not saying either one is lying, it's poss. a difference in how they see it.
So I told Hailey to just look at the rest of the trip like a job, she got money to do ( that I send her ). I said remember the movie Heidi ( we love musicals ) pretend you're Heidi and it's your job to be Amaris's friend. This approach seemed acceptable. Hailey was upset she was ruining their vacation, Amaris was upset that Hailey wasn't having fun...
Hailey is a do-er. We are people who do things. They are not so much ( why sitting around the house in vacation is okay to them ). Between yard work, house work, and chores... we're always going somewhere or doing something. And I explain things, a lot. My kids ask why, a lot. So when Crystal says not to buy something, Hailey wants to know why. Apparently this is something her daughter never does. ( she just accepts no as the answer ) My kids... not so much. It's not that they argue with you, it's that they want to know why. Ex. Can I get this purse? No. Why? Because then you won't have money to go the movie next week. Oh, that's right. Conversation is done. To me, it's pretty simple. Also instead of asking, she orders. Not that ordering is not needed sometimes, but I consider it good manners. " Would you pick up your plate off the table" opposed to " Pick up your plate off the table" I don't want my kids ordering people around, so I don't "order" them around. Of course they know if they don't things change.
My husband was going off because we wouldn't invite a kid to come with us anywhere if we weren't going to pay the same stuff for them as for our kids. Crystal said that some of things that Hailey was upset about was due to family. EX. yesterday they went to the bookstore. Hailey was "allowed" to get one magazine, Amaris got a couple books and a couple magazines. Hailey used her own money. When I asked about this Crystal told me that it was because Amaris's grandpa bought her books/magazines... and when I asked why Hailey was only allowed to get one, as it was her money, she said well she still hasn't finished the one she has here, and then she has another one... Hailey reads at a sixth grade level, she is going into fifth grade, so her books usually take a little longer to read because they are a higher reading level. Also, at home the girls each read one smaller book, or at least twenty min. before playing, going to friends, etc.
So, we came to the agreement that Crystal would go through what they were going to do in Tahoe and how much it would cost, Hailey would make her own list with the prices ( she's a do-er and needs to be involved, not just sit and watch ) while they did. She would take the amount she has, and subtract the amount needed for Tahoe to give her that total of "free money" she had to spend. Crystal would have her make a list of places they would go there that she might want to buy things, etc. and she would be allowed to spend her money on her own accord. If she spends it all too soon, she will not get to participate. That's how it works here, she spends her money, she doesn't get to do whatever she needs it for ( mostly purchasing things like accessories for her pets, etc) she is very good with her money usually.
I held back and did not bring up the toy store deal. I think I covered that before, but on Hailey's b-day, they went to Toy R Us, Crystal bought Amaris a new doll, and Hailey had to buy her own. Hailey was upset, and I'm like... who the **** takes a kid to a toy store on their b-day and not buy them something. She received nothing from Crystal for her b-day, she buys them something every year while at home. She said that she was going to get her present in Tahoe... : / But what upset me was when she told me the next day they were having a 'party' for Hailey and her relatives were bringing presents. The next day they had a party for Amaris... oh and Hailey, and a realtive gave Hailey ten dollars. It's not about the presents, but obviously she has no clue on how much it must suck celebrating your friend's birthday and her getting lots of presents when you aren't getting anything. But mostly she told me that party was for Hailey, and it wasn't ( although she was added in, it was for Amaris ) and they were getting her presents ( and they weren't ). The facts got twisted to make it sound better to me.
I just felt like... I'm dealing with two kids over the phone for two hours today... I know that everyone does things differently, but... yea. I also explained to Hailey that they are just as frustrated right now as she is. Then she was all upset they didn't want her there, and I said, it's not that, it's that you're not having fun, so they're upset that you're upset.... although I wouldn't doubt the first guess at this point, lol.
Here's hoping for the next two weeks (actually less than ) to go smoothly... the rest of the day seemed to go well anyway.
