roommate issues...

[Luci]

you would think that by senior year of college you were finally rid of all the roommate drama...not so much.

i dont even know where to start. my roommate has been irritating me lately. im hardly every home. i wake up at around 9, eat a bowl of cereal in my room, then head off to work by 930. i come home at around 8 or 9 (later if i have homework or a paper to write). anyways, recently the dishes have been piling up. i'll usually do them as a bit of stress relief (cleaning de-stresses me). but last week i started getting irritated at how full the sink was getting (we dont have a dishwasher). since im hardly home, i'll eat breakfast in my room and then lunch and dinner are spent on campus. but there is a MOUNTAIN of dishes and none are mine since they've accumulated in my room. at this point, im upset mostly because my roommate has decided she'll drop out of school at the end of this semester to move to florida to study photography. which is fine...whatever floats her boat. but when shes home all day, with her brand new puppy (whom she has YET to potty train after 3 weeks), i dont see why she cant wash her dishes.

so this past friday i left her a note "mish, before you head home, can you please wash your dishes? thanks". she went home without washing them...she just got back and i saw her and said "hey!", trying to just be casual...its only dishes, nothing to ruin a friendship over. but she replies "ugh hi", walks into her room with her puppy and slams the door.

ok..its whatever. i come to the library to catch up online (my computer crashed) and this is what her facebook says:
Disorganization: is merely the sign of a very healthy individual trying to do more in a shorter period of time than those lazy obsessively tidy types who can think of nothing better to do than straighten objects in drawers and stuff like that which only feeds their own egos and makes them think they're better than those of us who are truly gifted.

maybe im reading into this too much, but i feel it is directed towards me. if i was ever called out for having dirty dishes, then i'd just do them. theyre hers. she knows they are. im talking to her old roommate from 2 years ago and she said it sounds EXACTLY how it was back then. if those dishes arent done by the time i get home, i may just talk to her. it seriously upsets me that someone can be that upset and defensive about daily chores. or maybe i should just do the **** dishes. having them pile up just means less clean dishes for me too. i dont know how to approach this.

 

[Melissa]

When I was the RA I had this issue with my roommates all the time. I eventually put all my dishes in my room and took their dirty dishes and stacked them up against their door when they were sleeping and when they opened the door they all came crashing down and breaking.. At the bottom of the pile I left a note saying "You dont want to do dishes? Fine, now you dont have any to clean." and they never said a word to me about it. Which is funny because I heard when they all broke.. They bought paper plates and used those. Then there was the garbage issue.. until I put the bag of THEIR garbage out side of their door with a slit in the bottom so when she picked it up it spilled all over the place.. She learned to not have dishes in the sink or leave garbage for weeks..

 

[Luci]

mel, youre too hardcore for me! lol

with that said...im definitely putting that on my idea list.

 

[alli713]

Oh roommates. So glad that's over with. Actually I lucked out, only had a roommate for one semester freshman year. Then she moved home, sophomore year I was RA who don't have to have roommates then after that I moved to an apt of my own.

Anyways, my freshman year roomy was a mess!

I would do what Mel did, or something like it. I'd pick up all the dishes and put them either in her room or outside it. Sorry, it's just gross, they're bound to get moldy.

I'm assuming you don't have a ton of time left with her so I'd just make due. Ignore her stupid facebook comments.

And as far as the puppy, perhaps it just takes a long time to housebreak. I know my puppy did, so if she is trying that at least may not be her fault.

 

[Lynn & The Chins]

When I was the RA I had this issue with my roommates all the time. I eventually put all my dishes in my room and took their dirty dishes and stacked them up against their door when they were sleeping and when they opened the door they all came crashing down and breaking.. At the bottom of the pile I left a note saying "You dont want to do dishes? Fine, now you dont have any to clean." and they never said a word to me about it. Which is funny because I heard when they all broke.. They bought paper plates and used those. Then there was the garbage issue.. until I put the bag of THEIR garbage out side of their door with a slit in the bottom so when she picked it up it spilled all over the place.. She learned to not have dishes in the sink or leave garbage for weeks..

DANG, Melissa -- you're MY kind of gal!!! Nothing like a little tough love to make 'em see the light!!! :thumbsup:

 

[3CsMommy]

Keep your dishes in your room and throw the rest out. "They were moldy and disgusting" is a good explanation if needed, because if you've had the heat wave we've had, they probably are.

 

[Rebecca]

My roommates throw poop on the floor, get hay all over the place, and crash about at the most ungodly hours. I'm still terrified of getting a human flatmate, and refuse to get a roommate.

 

[saphire]

I would print her note from face book put it on her bed with the dishes spread out, and doggy poo in a bag (if any) and add to her note: ¨Show your gifted side in your room cause it's not a gift to me in OUR kitchen.¨

 

[warmice]

I agree! I would just wash mine and leave hers aside. anyway its not your chores neither is it your responsibility right?

 

[JennyBug]

When I lived in my sorority house, we had rooms for our desks and stuff, then a rack room where we all slept. I took my roommate's dirty dishes (which were moldy and disgusting, even AFTER I had asked her about a million times to take them downstairs and wash them) and put them under her bed covers. When she stumbled in drunk after a party, she got SUPER ticked at me. I just looked at her and said, "well, if you had done them BEFORE Christmas break like I asked, instead of leaving them in your closet, you wouldn't have this problem, would you?" She never really got over that, and I moved out at the semester because I couldn't deal with her disgusting messiness anymore.

If your roommate doesn't respect you enough to talk to you like an adult, just do what has been advised: take your own dishes and keep them clean, then let her deal with her mess. If she won't throw the stuff out due to nastiness. I know you're not wanting to be mean or rude, but sometimes that's all people like your roommate understand!

 

[Nancy]

Wash your dishes and keep them in your room and leave hers there. Eventually she will either have to wash them or have nothing to eat off of.

 

[CJR]

Having had plenty of disgusting roommates myself, I say do what you feel most comfortable with. Your roommate sounds like a Grade A Jerk, so... yeah.

 

[Olallie]

Its funny because my sister had a room mate who left notes for her all the time, about dishes and other stuff. She hated it! But my sister is a messy person, with a messy boyfriend, you should see her house now!

 

[Ash]

I like Mel's idea. Put the dishes in or outside of her room. Or toss the dishes for being too nasty.

 

[Luci]

just an update...dishes are still there and im not washing them.

i feel better knowing that i have the upperhand in this situation. at first i was feeling all bummed out and upset that she had made that comment, but now it doesnt phase me. so what if im considered "lazy" and i clean up to "boost my ego". **** right i do...having a clean home makes me feel better.

all my dishes are clean so im a happy camper. just a month and a half left.

and all the responses on here assured me that im not crazy.

 

[Ash]

You are crazy. For putting up with it and not sticking the dishes in her room :neener:

 

[Spoof]

You're not crazy, she's just a jerk.

Have had many roommates though only three were that bad. I'd complain profusely and annoy them until they either did it or the semester ended and we both got out.

There was one I actually ran off... but you need to have someone lined up as a replacement or be willing to foot the rent. If you'd like to go that route and want some tips, PM me. )

At some point she'll run out of dishes or her folks/buddies/whatever will come over and she'll either feel obligated (or they will) clean it up. Then again, she's decided to drop out so is probably giving up on being remotely responsible.

I don't know if I could handle the puppy... last roommates got one so I moved out and bought a house.