Possible Rehoming

[Essentia]

I am thinking about adopting out Buttons, and not because I just rescued another chin. A 58 yr. old lady who owned chins in the past and really wants another one contacted me yesterday. Her husband died last year and she contacted me for a chin so she would have some company. She is in good health and expects to be around for a good long while so she really wants another companion. She really knew her stuff on the application. She let me know what kind of chin personality she was looking for and Buttons sounds exactly like that. She sounds amazing and I would definitely visit her home before I made a final decision.

Buttons is just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo timid. He doesn't really play during playtime. He's just happy to be in his cage and get love from you. I honestly think he would be perfect for her. I just hate that I got him from Chantel, who rescued him, and I told her he would remain with me forever. I love him dearly, I just think he would get so much more love and attention from someone who is home all day, and she may actually be able to bring him out of his shell. She is going to give him at least an hour of daily play time where he would have an entire chin safe room to play in (with supervision of course) where as with me he has a small playpen because I live in a 2 bedroom house and there isn't a chin specific room. She is on disability so she is home all day and all night. Also, Buttons is afraid of his own shadow and my husband is a gamer. Even with the volume low it scares him and I honestly don't have anywhere else in the house to move him (since the other room is used for the quarantine room). I just think he might be happier in a quieter environment. I'm so torn. I don't want to make anyone angry and I honestly just want what's best for him.

What do you guys think I should do? What would you do?

Chantel, please chime in. I really want to know what you think as well. Please don't be angry as this is just a thought and I wanted to see what others thought. I'm not throwing him away by any means. Please don't think I am.

 

[Laurie]

The only thing I would say is this--even though she sounds great she is still a stranger. People lie--ALL THE TIME. Right now you know you are a good chin owner and Buttons is loved and cared for by you. You don't really know this woman and you could be sending Buttons to someone who wouldn't care for him. This is a huge decision and one really only you can make. The only way I would ever give up one of my chins would be to go to someone I truly knew.

 

[Essentia]

That could be said for any of the rescues I adopt out though...

I realize people lie, which is why I would do a home inspection and she knows she would have to have the cage and all accessories and such before I would even think about it. This isn't a CL adoption. She went out of her way to find me, and she would be paying an adoption fee. I know that doesn't make anything perfect. She also would be signing an adoption contract that says I am able to do home visits from time to time and if anything is awry I would be able to take him back. I do this for all rescues. It may seem over the top, but I want to know they are actually going to a good home.

I also doubt someone would go searching through the internet to give me as much information as she did on the application for adoption. She also sent me pictures of herself with her last chin which was 14 when he passed from malocclusion. He looked good. Good fur, good body weight. She specifically mentioned that she fed her chin Mazuri and mentioned the feed store where she purchased it (which is the same place I purchase it so I know they do sell it) and that her chin used Blue Cloud and had Oxbow hay.

She honestly just sounds like she's exactly what he needs which is why I'm even considering it. I haven't told her yet that I may have a chinchilla for her. I wanted to come here and talk it out first.

 

[Remyma0408]

Follow your heart//head, it's all I can suggest.

 

[EveningChin]

Honestly, it sounds like you already made up your mind on it and are now looking for some support. It sounds like a good place and as long as the woman has a good cage, she does sound like a good home for any chin. I cannot see why Chantel would be mad if you found a better home for Buttons than in you home for all the reasons you've listed. If you make sure that she is taking good care of Mr. Buttons sounds like a good match and you may just want to give Chantel a call or an email and explain the situation. She may rather find out that way then like this. Just a thought.

 

[Peep_erz]

If it were me, I wouldn't. You got Buttons to be his furever home. I have a boy that is super timid and is afraid of his shadow also. He is just now starting to come out of his shell after I got him a cage mate. Even though he is timid I do see signs of him being happy and comfortable in my home (he sleeps upside down and will let me approach him and pet him now). Buttons is probably just starting to feel safe and secure with you. I wouldn't want to wreck that.

Is there a breeder or rescue that you can turn this lady on to?

 

[Essentia]

I really haven't made up my mind, which is why I am asking for opinions. Do I think he would be happier there? Yes. Do I plan on emailing her tonight telling her that? No. I would be more than happy for him to remain with me for the rest of his life, I just don't know if that's really what's best for him and his personality. I wasn't even thinking about adopting him out until I talked with this lady for awhile, over the phone and through email.

So yeah, my mind is far from made up at this point.

 

[Essentia]

If it were me, I wouldn't. You got Buttons to be his furever home. I have a boy that is super timid and is afraid of his shadow also. He is just now starting to come out of his shell after I got him a cage mate. Even though he is timid I do see signs of him being happy and comfortable in my home (he sleeps upside down and will let me approach him and pet him now). Buttons is probably just starting to feel safe and secure with you. I wouldn't want to wreck that.

Is there a breeder or rescue that you can turn this lady on to?

I am a rescue, and I do have a few other chins who I currently have up for adoption. I could offer her any of them. He just seemed like a better fit for her and him hence me even thinking about it.

 

[eroomlorac]

Personally, I think this home might sound like a good one for Buttons. That is if Chantel agrees. Even though there are bad owners and bad homes out there, we must realize there are other people other than CnH'ers who can offer a good home to a chin. I would be sure she has a chin savvy vet and you said she knows her stuff. If you think this lady checked out fine (and Chantel agrees), put yourself in her place. This is a lonely lady who is home all day long to love up on her chinnie. We've all heard of bad applications, "I want this chinnie for my two year old", "I'm allergic to furry animals but maybe I won't be to chins", "I have a houseful of ferrets that run loose and I thought a chin might be a nice new addition". You claim this woman shows no indications of being an *****. Maybe you can agree on home visits after she adopts her chinnie. Have her come over and see how she interacts with the chinnies at your house. I'm just glad someone found me worthy enough to sell their chins to me.

 

[Peep_erz]

Well like I said, If it were me I wouldn't. If you feel he'll thrive with her then it maybe a possiblity. Maybe have her come look at the chins and see where it goes from there?

 

[Chinniechantel]

Wow, poor Buttons. I guess this kinds of irritates me to put it mildly. I still have 25 out of the 33 rescues I took in that day because I have not found "perfect" homes for them, and a lot of them are timid and scared- and they have every right to be. We work with them daily, and they are getting better. We all know chins take their sweet time to warm up to you.

They came from a horrific situation, and Buttons specifically was very hurt and scared. It tears me up to know he has to be moved AGAIN, this will be number 3 in a few months, maybe or maybe not have someone that loves him and cares for him forever, and maybe gets rehomed yet again because he is not the most cuddly and perfect chin? That is why I went to CnQ for the worst of the chins, becaue I trusted that they would keep them forever and not rehome them. Sugarmama took 2 and Essentia one, and I was so relieved and happy for them.

On the other hand, I obviously don't want him in a home where he is not loved and wanted. I wish you would have come to me first, and told me what was going on. But, whats done is done and you have made up your mind. So, please email that lady my contact info, and I will feel much better if I speak with her personally.

If it was not 5 hours away I would take him back in a heartbeat, I just don't want to traumatize him more. I have a hard time seeing how you can do that to him after knowing what his previous life was like, and how hard I tried to fix that by finding him you. It hurts me that he is not in a happy forever home like I thought. And most of all it hurts me to think even people here rehome chins for stupid reasons. Sorry Essentia, but I think this is just messed up.

 

[Essentia]

He doesn't have to be moved which is why I asked for your opinion. How can you even say he isn't loved and wanted? The whole reason this was even brought up here is because he IS loved and wanted. Never once did I say I was going to rehome him, just that it was a thought because of how good of a fit the two of them would be. That's it. That was the entire thought, which is why I wanted opinions on it. For you to say that he is unloved and unwanted is complete and utter nonsense. I traveled down there in a heartbeat to pick him up even though it was 5 hours away. Never once did the distance even make me think twice.

If he was unloved and unwanted I would have just given him to her without consulting you. If he was unloved and unwanted I would not have even bothered asking people's opinions. He was unloved and unwanted I would have mentioned him to her. I don't see how you don't see that. He has warmed up to me, as he has to my husband. All I said was he seems afraid of his surroundings, which he does. All I want is for him to be happy. If that means for him to stay with me that's absolutely fine.

At this point I am rambling and I don't know what to say. For you to say you think he is unloved and unwanted just kills me, especially after I have done so much for him. He's staying with me because I DO love and want him, and because I respect you and what I said to you. Once again I was just asking opinions. Apparently that automatically means he's unloved and unwanted.

And he IS a cuddly and perfect chin which is why I even questioned making someones life a little brighter with him in it.

 

[Essentia]

Also, did you even read anything I actually wrote or did you just stop reading when you saw the first sentence? You say what's done is done but absolutely nothing has been done other than me want to make a lonely woman happier and me thinking I would make Buttons happier as well. Even then absolutely nothing has been done past that.

I have no idea how to make you believe I had his best interest at heart by even thinking about it. He is the furthest thing from unloved and unwanted.....once again I am rambling.

All I can say is I'm sorry for even thinking about it. I didn't realize this would make me out to be some completely horrible person who doesn't care about her animals. You going out of your way to hurt me in other threads though is just mean, which I think was your direct point. I rescue another chin and because I think he's cute and I make a thread about it (which I had also done for Buttons) he's an automatic replacement? You also say that I am not rescuing anything is the absolute most hurtful thing you could say.

 

[ABBY W.]

I have to say, and I'm not trying to make any enemies, but I think some of you are overreacting a bit. It seems obvious to me that Essentia cares very much for her animals, and has put a lot of thought into this already. THEN, she came and asked for your opinions on the matter, BECAUSE she cares and wants to do the right thing. Insulting her and calling her a bad chin owner and uncaring is just wrong, since it's obviously untrue. Frankly, it seems to me like she is trying to secure the BEST possible living situation for Buttons, not throw him away because she doesn't care.

This is a problem I have tried to address in other threads as well. Some of the people on this forum are overly reactionary, and, frankly, very judgemental. I think it is a completely unproductive attitude, and the opposite of what this forum should be about. If you truly want people to love these animals, leanr about them, and share that love and knowledge with others on this forum, you can't belittle them anytime they may think differently than you. Perhaps you might want to give some more thought to your careless, and rather hurtful comments. It sounds to me like you are alienating someone who is obviously not deserving of it.

Essentia, it sounds like you have Buttons' best interests at heart, and you should do what you think is best. I agree with the idea of having the lady come for a visit to meet Buttons. See how they get along for a little while.

 

[Alleigh]

I'll be honest and admit that I'm a bit taken aback by this thread. In fact, I read this thread when it was originally posted and needed to take a big step back before responding -- it was that disturbing to me...

Buttons is a rescue. He, by all accounts, has had a traumatized existence up to this point. He is skittish and timid. He may not yet seem comfortable in his surroundings. But, would you be had you survived an ordeal similar to one he experienced?

What if Buttons were a child? For argument's sake, let's say that you adopted a child who you knew experienced trauma in his previous home. You knew the extent of his background prior to the adoption and you decided that the child was adorable and sweet and would make the perfect child for you and the perfect companion to your other child (in this case, Chula). And so you make the decision to give the child -- your child -- a forever, loving home. But now that child isn't so perfect anymore. He may be timid and be too scared to allow you to hold him...he may be frightened by loud or unfamiliar noises...he may skulk around rather than walk confidently...he may fear your hand though it is gentle...he may not understand the concept of play-time...and he may not understand that he is safe now despite the fact that by all appearances he is. What happens when a woman at the park asks about adopting a child as well? Do you think, "Well, this one isn't exactly what I wanted. He's not perfect. He has some issues. Here, take him!" Of course, in order to make yourself feel better, you may ask a lot of questions, require a home visit, and even request a rehoming/adoption fee and a signature on a contract, but what does that really do other than relieve you of your responsibility to this child that you adopted despite knowing his traumatic past and the potential risks involved?

No one is perfect. Nothing is perfect. And there's no situation that is perfect. When you adopted Buttons you were fully aware of his past experiences (as much as was possible based on the information Chantel had) and you were not unfamiliar with chinchillas or their personalities. Family members are not expendable. Pets are not expendable. And animals are not expendable. The illustration above is meant to show you how irresponsible this appears to those of us reading this thread.

It makes me so very sad to know that you would willingly pawn off your responsibility to someone else. Buttons did not find you, you found Buttons. You wanted him. You knew his past. You knew chinchillas have very varied personalities and that his past experiences may influence his present and future. You can tout all you want about how this woman would be a fabulous new home for Buttons...how her situation is so wonderful...how she has the power to bring him out of his shell...and so on. But, really, this isn't about Buttons at all. Look at the words I've highlighted. It seems to me that this is a whole lot more about you than it ever was about Buttons.

And, as an aside, I would seriously reconsider taking in rescues if this is how you're handling your own pets. This is not meant to be an attack on you personally, but this kind of attitude about animals makes me, literally, sick to my stomach. It breaks my heart and it is just so...unacceptable.

ETA: There is a time and place for rehoming animals. And there are situations that warrant such rehoming. But this isn't one of them as it is not for financial reasons, for health reasons, or for the like. This situation, to me, is unjustified and my opinion would be far different if it were for reasons like those listed above.

 

[Smiley1]

I dunno... for a forum that is so into the wellbeing of an animal....it seems to me that it is more about the arguement that "I would never do that to my animal". To go along with that...if this OP thinks that the animal would be happier with someone else and feels that the animal would relate and respond better to someone else, Honestly, would you not want the said Chin to be happy??

To go along with your adoption story, My aunt DID adopt a child, Loved him very much. Tried everything to love him and make him happy....doctors, drugs, schools. Everything. It got to the point she just couldn't do it no more whether it was him not wanting to be loved by her, or that she just didn't know how to reach him, didn't matter at the time. However that child is now 22 and in law school, something he would have never been able to achieve had he stayed where he was not happy. He keeps in touch with my aunt, and does not hate her for not giving it more time. His new parents struggled as well, the difference was...the Mom was a stay at home mom and had the time and energy to be able to reach him. Does NOT mean my aunt did not love him....she just could not reach him. He lives about 2 hours from her and goes and sees her about every month. You know there are just situations that animals/people do not thrive in.

I can also add...I have a cat... I love him to death. He is spoiled rotten. He is attached to my husband. Now would I be selfish if me and my husband were to split and I kept him cuz he is mine? No, I would do what was right for HIM and let him go with my Hubby cuz its where he would be happy.

Now I do not know Buttons story, what he went thru. But I really don't need to know. But I do know that if the OP cannot give the chin the 1 on 1 time that he may need and someone else can, would Buttons not thrive and be happier in an envirnment where someone could give this animal extra attention love and maybe get him to come out of his shell?

Seems to me that the OP is not being selfish or making it all about her, she is making it all about Buttons. She simply asked what people thought. I think calling her a bad owner or telling her she doesn't love buttons is terrible. If in her heart she feels that this woman would give buttons a better home, more love, more attention, would that NOT be better for the Boy in the long run?

In the end it is her decision, what may not be RIGHT for you, maybe right for her, and if in the end, Buttons thrives better with more 1 on 1 is the only chin and is loved, what is BAD about that? NOTHING. The OP can relax knowing that Buttons is happy, happier than he could have been with her, The woman is happy that she has a friend/companion and not lonely anymore and Buttons has someone that loves him and devotes her time to him and no one else. If it works? It seems to me its a win win situation.

 

[Jezilynn]

I believe everyone is reading a little too much into the entire situation here. If any of you actually read what Essentia had to say then you would all realize that this is just a thought for the best interest of Buttons. If anyone has ever been in the situation where you had to take your own feelings out of the relationship, whether that relationship is with another human or animal, to do what is best for them then you would understand how truly difficult and heart wrenching it would be. But it hasn't come to this, and she never said that any arrangements had been made, she even stated that she never even told the lady about Buttons.

Essentia- I haven't been around here long, and I just started really researching chinchillas, but from what I have read and seen on here you really know what you are talking about. Nobody knows Buttons personality better than the one who spends the time taking care of him, which at this point in time is you. I understand and respect you for wanting Chantel's opinion on the situation. Anyone who didn't care about an agreement that was made, such as the one between you and Chantel, would never even have thought about asking the opinion of that person.

Would you be able to invite the future adopter to your house for playtime with the Chins? Introduce her to the rescues and to Buttons. Animals have great instincts, the right Chin will bond with her, and if it turns out that its Buttons, then Buttons chose her. If not then follow your heart. Do what you think is best. The absolute best thing you can do for any loved one is put their best interest first.

 

[Cory]

I really never read this as Essentia not having time, patience, or love for the chinchilla, simply that someone contacted her and she feels bad for the lady and must not have an actual rescue to rehome so was considering letting her have Buttons. With that being said I think the biggest mistake made was posting this at all on a public forum without contacting chantel first, to whom she had agreed this would be the chin's forever home. I think the most appropriate choice of action from the start would have been a phone call to Chantel to give her the older woman's contact information since she still has so many chins from a couple months back who need a great owner like this person sounds. Everyone's goal in rescuing should always be to get the most chins to their final destination- a place where someone will keep them and love them for life, so if you have Buttons, let this woman take in another chin who doesn't yet have a person.

 

[tunes]

Perhaps the misunderstandings and upset could have been avoided by handling this via pm, rather than asking for opinions in open forum? That way, any argument could have been handled without public hard feelings.

I think Essentia should have contacted Chantel via pm and discussed this privately, and Chantel may be reading more into this than there is.

 

[Chinniechantel]

I'll be honest and admit that I'm a bit taken aback by this thread. In fact, I read this thread when it was originally posted and needed to take a big step back before responding -- it was that disturbing to me...

Buttons is a rescue. He, by all accounts, has had a traumatized existence up to this point. He is skittish and timid. He may not yet seem comfortable in his surroundings. But, would you be had you survived an ordeal similar to one he experienced?

What if Buttons were a child? For argument's sake, let's say that you adopted a child who you knew experienced trauma in his previous home. You knew the extent of his background prior to the adoption and you decided that the child was adorable and sweet and would make the perfect child for you and the perfect companion to your other child (in this case, Chula). And so you make the decision to give the child -- your child -- a forever, loving home. But now that child isn't so perfect anymore. He may be timid and be too scared to allow you to hold him...he may be frightened by loud or unfamiliar noises...he may skulk around rather than walk confidently...he may fear your hand though it is gentle...he may not understand the concept of play-time...and he may not understand that he is safe now despite the fact that by all appearances he is. What happens when a woman at the park asks about adopting a child as well? Do you think, "Well, this one isn't exactly what I wanted. He's not perfect. He has some issues. Here, take him!" Of course, in order to make yourself feel better, you may ask a lot of questions, require a home visit, and even request a rehoming/adoption fee and a signature on a contract, but what does that really do other than relieve you of your responsibility to this child that you adopted despite knowing his traumatic past and the potential risks involved?

No one is perfect. Nothing is perfect. And there's no situation that is perfect. When you adopted Buttons you were fully aware of his past experiences (as much as was possible based on the information Chantel had) and you were not unfamiliar with chinchillas or their personalities. Family members are not expendable. Pets are not expendable. And animals are not expendable. The illustration above is meant to show you how irresponsible this appears to those of us reading this thread.

It makes me so very sad to know that you would willingly pawn off your responsibility to someone else. Buttons did not find you, you found Buttons. You wanted him. You knew his past. You knew chinchillas have very varied personalities and that his past experiences may influence his present and future. You can tout all you want about how this woman would be a fabulous new home for Buttons...how her situation is so wonderful...how she has the power to bring him out of his shell...and so on. But, really, this isn't about Buttons at all. Look at the words I've highlighted. It seems to me that this is a whole lot more about you than it ever was about Buttons.

And, as an aside, I would seriously reconsider taking in rescues if this is how you're handling your own pets. This is not meant to be an attack on you personally, but this kind of attitude about animals makes me, literally, sick to my stomach. It breaks my heart and it is just so...unacceptable.

ETA: There is a time and place for rehoming animals. And there are situations that warrant such rehoming. But this isn't one of them as it is not for financial reasons, for health reasons, or for the like. This situation, to me, is unjustified and my opinion would be far different if it were for reasons like those listed above.

This is exactly how I feel, and Alleigh put it much more elocquently. It is about THIS particular rescue, and if you don't know the whole story about it, I will be glad to share. He has had a horrible life and the VERY reason I had only someone from CnQ adopt him is so he would never be rehomed. I would have kept him, spoiled and loved him his whole life if I had not found someone from here, for this very reason, actually. And if I remember correctly, she came to me asking for a rescue, not the other way around. She knew he was traumatized, knew he was injured, knew he had just been treated for Giardia and was scared and needed comfort and love. He needs to adjust, my goodness the poor thing lived in a cage that was 12"x6", and that was 12inches high and six by six across. A bird carrier! He shared sugar glider food and lived in a room the size of a closet with 32 other chins and 50 sugar gliders. He had never seen hay, never had playtime, and never had a dust bath. He ate bird food and some chin food, about once a week. He was the smallest and got picked on all the time.

I apologize for saying he is not loved and cared for, that was harsh and untrue, and I was, and still am, just very sad for Buttons. I meant I am sad he is in the situation he is in, and I wish I could take a lot of things back right now. I just don't think it right for you to get another chin to spoil and love, and just kick him out because he is not a good "fit" for you. It may not be like that, but it sure does sound like it to me. You would not have told that lady about him if you didn't already have the thought of rehoming him.