My heart is grieving I need a hug from my friends on here

[ETC]

2009 was a really tough year for me....I lost my three best friends......


My dog Savage, my 14 year old Rottweiler that I had since he was 6 weeks old.....who was my loyal friend and confidante....who was always there for me, to lick my face when I was down.....he was so old that his legs gave out and his bowels went....so I mercifully decided to put him to sleep. I lay with him on the floor of the vet's office telling him how wonderful he was, and that he would be able to run and play again in heaven.

My best friend and sister in law JANE, who was my brother's childhood sweetheart and my best friend since I was 14 (yes over 30 years).....who died tragically when her truck hit a transport during a winter storm. Her smile, quick wit, and wonderful sense of humour are things I will always remember about her.

My MOM, Ella, who suffered complete bed rest, for four years, lying in bed with such severe osteoporosis that she could no longer walk, and who was on kidney dialysis for 10 years.....who outlived what the doctor's said by FIVE YEARS. She was my mentor and a wonderful PERSON. She was a special needs teacher and left behind many students who learned, when told they wouldn't, because of her.


Today was the first day that I was able to go and visit my sister in law's gravesite.....I went there and had a coffee with her.....and wept.....
I felt my mom's presence there also, as if she was trying to tell me that they were together. Then I wondered to myself if my dog SAVAGE, was there too, and looked up and the gravesite just over a bit had a tombstone that said SAVAGE on it. (person's last name) Was he trying to tell me something? I believe he was telling me that he was with my Mom and Jane.

I miss all of you greatly, my THREE best friends.......today is a rough day and I need a hug.

On Thursday I will attempt to drive to Sudbury on the highway that killed my best friend. I am going to Sudbury to pick up Kathiva's Mom's chins.....and I know I have to do this....but I am dreading every moment of it....I have to drive by a huge memorial on the side of the road that is dedicated to her. IT WILL BE TOUGH.

 

[lauralynne]

I'm so sorry to hear that...it definitely sounds like a rough year.
What you're doing on Thursday is so wonderful though. You're helping to get those chins into good homes and care. Your best friend would be so happy about what you're doing.
You'll be in my thoughts.

 

[ETC]

Thanks Laura...
its been a rough day here, I never thought seeing the tombstone would affect me so much. And yes, you are right, Jane would be proud of me for getting those chins.

 

[caiti]

IF I COULD I WOULD GIVE YOU THE BIGGEST, BESTEST BEAR HUG IN THE WORLD!!!! Driving might be hard but you would eventually be more troubled that those chins were still there than the fact that you would have passed a place where someone dear died. I'm pretty sure all three of your friends would want you to do what you're doing. Remembering that may help.

 

[cindyv3737]

I'm so sorry to hear this. (((BIG HUGS))) Just know you will be giving the chins a great home.

 

[mishellyshel]

:hug2:

 

[ETC]

Thanks for the hugs and kind words everyone, it means a LOT!

 

[CommonYak]

I'm a stranger, but my heart went out to you as I read your post. I am sorry for your losses as they sound a heavy burden to deal with. I only wish there were something that I could offer more than these words and a wish that your heart will over time and in some fashion heal..

 

[tunes]

What a horrible year you've had. The only thing I can say is that I hope the old saying of bad things coming in 3's is true and you're done now and can move forward.

I'm so sorry for all of your losses.

 

[saphire]

things will be okay KiKi.

Ditto! Tunes

 

[InkedupTara]

Reading that made me cry. I am sorry for your losses. I bet it was nice to chat with your friend. Sometimes those are the moments in life we need. My heart is with you. Try and remember all the good things about your best friend when you drive past the memorial, and not the loss. ( I know easier said then done)

 

[Lynn & The Chins]

I'm so sorry for your losses. :flowers4:

Your mom, best friend and Savage are all up in Heaven sending you hugs from above, and they would definitely approve of your mission tomorrow.

I'm sending you a hug (my sisters and I say "through the phone"), right now through the internet.

 

[Pleiades]

Chin up, your year has been really rough.

This time last year I lost my best friend & companion- my childhood dog of 11 years. I know what you're going through with that. Not to trivialize your other losses, because they also are so very great, but (some psychologists think and I agree) that sometimes the loss of a pet- especially a dog or cat- is even worse than losing a fellow human being. It's not socially acceptable to publicly grieve for pets, especially for long periods of time. :broken: People just expect you to be ok in a day or two, and it's not like that. I know, personally that I was very deeply depressed for almost all of last year because of it.

I can only tell you to keep your head up, and keep doing small things that will memorialize your lost loved ones. Keep yourself busy!

 

[Sandi]

I can't even imagine losing my mom. Your year has been tough. If you were close I'd give you a big hug too!

 

[starleomach]

I am so sorry. Hang in there

 

[ETC]

Thank you everyone. I am missing Savvy (what I called him, because he was so smart) Jane and my MOM, LIKE CRAZY. I have my Mom's ashes here at my house and they are to be buried August 7th. I walk by "her" every day and blow her a kiss...
tomorrow is the day that I drive to Sudbury to get Kathiva's Mom's chins. I believe we are picking up 30 of them! My husband has been warned, that so many chins might be coming here. I have been scrambling for cages and we were lucky to pick up a few runs at a good price for temporary housing.
Wish us luck, the trip there is going to be HARD like I said, driving by the memorial for Jane, and it will be hard to see all these chins too, as I know I will want to keep them all but I cannot. I just have to keep telling myself that we (Kathiva and myself) will find them wonderful homes.
Thanks for all the support and kind words. It helps to have FRIENDS, and even though the hugs are over the internet they still count, and mean so much.