Lies your parents told you

[Laurie]

Mom and I were talking today and reminiscing about the time she told us liver was beef roast! Yep I poked it as I looked at it on the butcher block and said, "don't look like beef roast to me" and then at dinner there was no way any of us girls would eat it! Silly us though we put it in our mouths, said we had to go to the bathroom and then spit it out in the toilet--so the whole walk to the bathroom we had to hold that icky taste in our mouth!

Another one--from Grandpa shaw--chocolate milk comes from brown cows! I believed that one for a LONG time!

Anyone else????

 

[Melissa]

I think mine were old wives tales more than lies.. but I heard a lot "Dont go outside with your hair wet you will get sick." "Dont go inside the A/C from the rain.. you will get sick" "Dont go to sleep with your hair wet... you will get sick." BTW I STILL dont wash my hair right before bed. I HAVE to do it HOURS before and make sure its all dry.. not because of getting sick but wet hair when I sleep feels icky.

I also was told to "never take a shower when its lightning out side. 'cause you are going to die."

-La Chupa Cabra is goign to get you in the middle of the night is you dont behave.

-If you cross your eyes and a fly comes by while you are doing it they will stay like that forever.

-If you dont stop crying your face will get stuck like that.

-Dont write on your hands. You will get ink poisoning and die.

-"Oh Mel! Thats just fish just to look like a little octopus for fun! Go ahead and eat it!" Then they would laugh when I tried it..

-Santa Clause must have ran out of toys across the street. (when the kids came over with their new toys and there were none at my house) But he went back to the toy shop and brought some gifts later that afternoon..(They were just too drunk to wrap and put presents out) BTW the cookies for santa were gone when they told me he hadnt stopped by yet.

My parents liked to instill fear in me as a child... But I turned out ok..right? :wacko:

 

[eroomlorac]

I can't remember any right now from when I was a kid, though I know there are some. I'll post them later as I think of them but I remember 'lying' to my own kids. Before they were old enough to realize the car had power windows, they thought the windows on the car would open and close when I commanded them too. :high5: My daughter also thought I could see around corners because I would hear her getting into the kitchen drawers or whatever and I'd tell her to close the drawer and she'd say she wasn't in it. I knew she was because I heard it but I'd tell her I can see her and she'd so "no, you can't". And I'd say "Yes, I can see you, you are wearing a yellow shirt, blue jeans and tennis shoes". She was too little to realize I'M the one that dressed her that morning, she thought I could actually see her around the corner from the kitchen into the living room. Another one is the kids thought the car actually would not start until they all had their seat belts buckled. I told them it was like completing a circuit and the car started circuit wasn't complete until all seat belts were buckled. I would count the seat belt 'clicks' and if I didn't hear three, I would pretend I was turning the key and the car was not starting. LOL Okay, let me think of ones from when I was little.

 

[EveningChin]

"People grow out of being petty and stupid."
- My mom told me that and that lasted untill I was 11.

"Pricilla and Anna, have brain cancer and need surgery."
- They were my mice. They had died of old age.

Other then that my parents were fairly straight with me. And I wasn't that gullible.

 

[Melissa]

"Pricilla and Anna, have brain cancer and need surgery."
- They were my mice. They had died of old age.

Dont you think it wouldve been easier to tell you they lived long happy lives and are gone.. Rather than say they had brain cancer?


I remembered another one... You know the button in the car that would reset the miles on your car.. the trip button? Well I was like 5 and asked my dad what it was and he said it was a mgic button.. If he pushed it 3 times the passanger seat would be ejected from the car. He proceeded to press it two times until I grabbed the seat hard and started cryign like a baby.. boogers and all.. and he laughed and said if I behaved he wouldnt press it a third time..

OH YEA! And ONE TIME! I used to suck my thumb as a child.. probably up until I turned 13.. And my dad told me about this GREAT thumb sucking stuff that came in these different flavors like grape and cherry and it was suppose to make your thumb taste like candy! I was SO EXCITED.. BTE I was like 6 at this time. So he took me to the carnival and we had a BLAST and then he took me to the drug store to get the thumb candy stuff.. WE got home and he taught me how to put it on my thumb so when they arent around.. and I felt like a big girl and wow they trusted me with the candy stuff! Well I was so excited but I had to wait for it to dry... I put it in my mouth and started screaming.. I kicked my dad because it tasted aweful! Again another laugh at Melissa's expense..

They also did a couple of these to me.. Fell for them every time..

Wow Im going to need a therapy session after all this!

 

[3CsMommy]

"Pull my finger and something funny will happen." Yeah, *Dad* always thought it was funny...

 

[kaykay]

My grandpa always use to tell us that if you ate watermelon seeds, a watermelon would grow in your stomach...lol.

And then of course, all the wet hair myths and whatnot.

 

[Laurie]

Lies I told my own child---parsnips were white carrots! I LOVE parsnips and would put them in the roasts I made. Stewart never wanted to try them so I told him they were white carrots and after that he ate them everytime! Now he knows they are parsnips and still eats them. Also we told Stewart he was named after great Scottish Kings. Then in the 4th grade they had to do name research and he found out his name really names waiter or steward. Yeah, that didn't go over so well!! LOL!

 

[EveningChin]

Dont you think it wouldve been easier to tell you they lived long happy lives and are gone.. Rather than say they had brain cancer?

True enough but don't you think it would have been kinder not to terrorize you into tears? I was like 6 and very much into surgery and medical stuff. My dad probably thought I would rather hear about a cool surgery then just straight up dead mice.


They also told me and My sister that there was a creature in the Attic which watched the hall though the venting fan too make sure we didn't sneak down stairs at night. Of course I'm still pretty sure there is something living in my parents attic cause you can hear something moving around up there. Man after I saw the Exorsist there was no force in the world that could make me go down that hall. I'd wait till morning to peep.

 

[ChinchillaFrenzy]

I was told if I didn't put my lip in (when I was pouting) a bird was gonna land on it and poop. LoL.
:hilarious:


That one still worked on me for the longest time. We had like 6 bird at the time so it even worked in the house.
I miss believing everything adults said. It made life easier.

 

[AnimalsR4Me]

I heard all the wet hair things, and the bird poop on your lip, and the watermelon seeds. My mom used to make a chocolate mayonaise cake, and she would just tell me it was chocolate cake. To this day, I LOVE the cake, but if she tells me it's the mayonaise cake, I will NOT eat it. I can't get past the mayonaise thing. They also used to tell me that venison was beef, lol.
Don't sit so close to the tv, you'll go blind
Don't read in the dark, you'll go blind
Don't put your finger in your nose, it will get stuck like that
Don't bite your nails, you'll bite you're finger off
I don't remember any really good ones. My grandpa used to tell me that he was going to cut my gizzard out, and I belived I had one for the LONGEST time...And he used to tell me that I could keep a squirrel as a pet if I could catch one. And the way to catch one, was to put salt on it's tail...LOL@

 

[Sheri]

Lemme see here. My parents weren't big one that stuff but my brother was. The main ones I remember was he told me riding myy pony barefoot was good. I was 5 and lost the toe nail off my big toe a week later when the pony stepped on it.

He used my barbi's as targets with his dart gun. When I cried he promised me NEW barbi's. Still waiting.

Told me chewing my nails (which I did till this) would cause worms in my stomach. I Now have long nails I wouldn't chew for the world.

Oh The BIG one. My brother were 8 and 6 when my parents adopted me. I was 1. My Dad had beeen promising Randy (the oldest) Disney Land when Terry was old enough to understand. Then they got me and he promised both boys as soon as I was old enough to understand. He promised me as soon as he thought I would understand better.

I am 44 and still waiting. Maybe by the time I hit 50. LOL

 

[Chinniechantel]

I like this thread!

In the winter, in MN, we go look for a Christmas tree, the whole family and Dad carries us kids on a sled to find the perfect tree. There are all these stumps and holes from the trees. Well, my dad said they were elf holes, and that if I was not good, or fell out of the sled they would grab me and bring me down the hole! Man, no wonder I am so afraid of falling now!

My dad would tell us that the seats in his car got hot (heated seats) when the seat knew we were cold. I seriously thought that seat was so smart!

We can't breath in the car or the windows will fog up...

Melissa- that is just hilarious. I think our parents really did make us crazy....

 

[Courtney]

When I was younger (like 6 or 7), one of my teachers told me that crying before bed or while in bed would cause your heart to explode out of your chest. One night, I was having a nightmare and I woke up in tears. I instantly panicked, thinking I was about to have a heart attack and of course, that triggered more tears and panic.

I think my mom sat up with me for hours until I calmed down and actually started to believe that I wouldn't die because I was crying.

Oh! I just thought of a good one I told my sister. I told her she was adopted and that we didn't want her anymore. Instead of people coming for her birthday, they were actually coming for a farewell party and the gifts were going away presents. On her 6th birthday, people started showing up with gifts and she started freaking out, saying she didn't want to leave and she liked it here. My parents had no idea why she was saying this until recently.

Adam told his sister she was raised by wolves and his parents found her on the side of the road. She fought this for months until she learned to accept it and would proudly tell strangers, "I was raised by wolves!" His parents were always completely mortified when she'd announce this.

 

[ABBY W.]

My parents had a rule that we couldn't wake them until 7 a.m. on Christmas morning, and they told us, if we went downstairs before them, Santa would take all our presents back. Of course, poor them, from 5-7 a.m. they had to listen to the four of us sitting outside their bedroom doro trying to be quiet. It always ended up with one of us yelling "Shhh!!! You're gonna wake Mom and Dad!" I'm sure they were rolling on the floor laughing so hard.

When I was a kid I came home and was upset that my friend said the Easter bunny didn't exist. So to convince us, my parents stayed up all night on Easter eve cutting out and painting cardboard bunny prints, then they left them all over the house leadin to our easter baskets. Boy we were convinced! Of course, it didn't occur to me until years later that you can't usually pick up a footprint and carry it around with you!

When I was very young 3 years old or so, my Dad accidentally sat me in front of the TV while Salem's Lot was on. It was just before the woman sat up on the autopsy table and attacked the coroner. Of course, I was terrified. So to comfort me, my Dad taught me how to make a cross with my fingers to ward off vampires. We practiced making the cross and he would be the vampire and fall over dead, complete with gorans and dramatic death movements and noises. Then I was the vampire, and he woudl make the cross, so I could "die". Then he told me that vampires hated light and would fall over dead whenever a light came on around them. Unfortunately, I took this one to heart. For a year after that I would fall over "dead" when someone turned on a light...in church, the grocery store, restauarants...LOL

 

[MyFuzzies]

My Dad used to tell me that if I EVER kissed a boy my lips would fall off!!

My Mom told me that if I ate my Brussel Sprouts I would grow ****s LOL.

 

[Sasha]

I was told if I made faces, they would stay like that forever.

 

[Jeanette]

My Dad used to tell me that if I EVER kissed a boy my lips would fall off!!

My Mom told me that if I ate my Brussel Sprouts I would grow ****s LOL.

Brussel sprouts, eh? I've got to try that one! Perhaps if I stuffed the brussel sprouts down my shirt. I've given up by this time about wanting ****s! :rofl:

 

[Sheri]

WHen My daughter was about 6 she asked where babies came from...Not being used to this and not quite knowing how to answer I said it started from kissing boys. 2 years later my daughter refused to kiss her grandpa goodnight. I asked her why and she said she didn't want no babies. LOL

 

[Melissa]

My Mom told me that if I ate my Brussel Sprouts I would grow ****s LOL.

I WISH! Would have saved me a lot of time with pumping my arms in front of me chanting "I must! I must! I must increase my bust!"