Heartless comments upon the death of my chin

[ReneeM]

One of my " friends" made me so angry today, after learning about the death of my chin. I sent him a text saying that my mom was in the hospital and that my chinchilla had died. He said he would pray for my mom, but " the rodent was on his own."

And then I went out this evening with him and another friend after visiting my mom. I was telling them that chins could live up to 15 years, and he said my chin HAD lived up to fifteen years. I wanted to yell at him, he was even laughing.

If it had been his cat he would have been angry if I made any comment like that about HIS pet.

I'm seething at this point. What makes losing a chin any easier than losing a cat or dog?

I've lost both cats and dogs in the past, it's just as horrible losing both.

I can't even imagine talking to him right now.

 

[Pookinaround]

I guess that different people have different pet preferences. I myself being a chinnie lover can empathize with you on a deep level and understand your pain however if Phillip had been a snake or a spider I would feel bad for you as my friend but in all honesty it would really be different for me since I am not "into" reptiles like I am chinnies. He should repect your feelings though no matter what and if he hurt your feelings I would tell him.

 

[ReneeM]

It made it worse because he knows what my pets mean to me. I talk about them all the time.

 

[GorillaJTA]

Some people really do consider rodents and reptiles, no matter how domesticated, clean, etc. to be vermin and hold no respect for them as a pet. It is just is as it is. I have had people refer to my chinchilla as a rat, but once they met him they all loved him (though some asked me if they could have the pelt when he died). Others refuse to come into my house while I have him (good riddance). You can't change some people. You know what he meant to you and you can't let others belittle him in your memory.

 

[Pookinaround]

What you needed was for him to "step up" and be your friend at a time like this and he didn't and that was disappointing for you. I am sorry he did that but maybe he didn't understand exactly how bad this was for you. Talk to him and tell him how you feel (civily) and hopefully he just didn't know how much this upset you...Good luck!

 

[becky12883]

That's terrible
If he's a close friend I think you should tell him that he hurt your feelings. He should hopefully understand how and why. You're already dealing with so much to have to add this to it. I'm very sorry for your loss. Stay strong for Terrance, he will be mourning with you.

 

[ReneeM]

I'm not in a place right now I can confront him on it. I'll say something I would regret. I'm emotionally to raw to deal with him being rude.

My mind is a million places. I miss my baby and I'm worried about my mom

 

[AZChins]

People often think they are being really funny. Just ignore their comments. Later on when you are feeling better and these friends have a crisis maybe you can make a comment to them that is on par with their comments. I've had friends make really rude, insensitive, idiotic comments to me...and usually I end up not being friends with them for long.

 

[Jenn]

My thought is that this person isn't really a friend. A friend is there for you in the good times and in the bad. A friend would grieve with you. A friend would know how much you loved your pet, no matter what kind it was, and feel your pain. This person is not a friend.

 

[Shooper]

I think some people dont know what to say or do,so they try to joke around. Maybe he wasn't trying to hurt your feelings, but you should let him know that he did.

 

[Mystic]

I know some reactions I get from people when I tell them that I have chinchillas as pets aren't always positive. I had a teacher in college once who thought having chinchillas as caged pets was just wrong. So I'm pretty sure she would be one of those who could care less if one of my chins died at that particular time. Some people just have different preferences for certain animals. Kind of like you have "dog" and "cat" people.

 

[ReneeM]

I don't think he was trying to be mean, I think he is just clueless. He was very supportive when I told him my dog was sick. I will confront him on it eventually. I'm just not willing to do so right now.

 

[melbur10]

I don't keep people like this in my life, once they show thier true colors like that, they are done.
I had an ex make a joke when one of my kids died "who are we Gunna feed him too?" because I had a snake, tarantula, dog, cat etc... Needless to say he became my ex for this and several other reasons.
To me it doesn't matter if the person 'can't empithize' or 'doesn't know how to act and makes jokes instead' those are not the people I want in my k
Life.
I have many supportive people in my life and really have no room for loosers like that.

While my girl friends will never understand the degree to which I love my kids, they are always there to say they are truly sorry and try to cheer me up. And even allmy guys friends understand.
I've gone through this situation and many others. Life's too short to have people like that in yours.
Just my 2cents.

 

[peachydays]

Renee, sorry you had to hear such insensitive comments from someone who is supposed to be a friend.

I think some people don't consider chins and other small animals "real" pets. To me, it doesn't matter if it's a dog, cat, chinchilla, rat, guinea pig, etc. It's still a pet that you cared for and loved, and had a bond with. Why would you be any less heartbroken over a chin, just because it's not a "traditional" pet? Some people just don't have the respect for chins that they do for more traditional pets. When I was adopting my Romeo from the rescue, I mentioned to a co-worker that I had to fill out an adoption application. She made a face and said "It's just a chinchilla."

Just remember you have every right to grieve for Phillip, and those who are true friends will allow you to do and will be supportive.

 

[ReneeM]

Thanks everyone

When I found out my dog had cancer two months ago, and thought I was going to lose her right then, I cried just as hard as when Phillip died. Thank god my dog is still with me, and going strong.

I just wish my so called friend understood that. Even my parents are grieving with me. My mom loaned me $300 to try and save my chin because I didn't have it.

 

[newchinchillamom713]

I just lost my chin, Stitch. I only had him for 1&1/2 months (he had been left at a petshop when his family of 6 yrs "moved"). I noticed he had trouble eating, was soaking his front. I took him to a vet who did oral surgery on 7/3/12 and he passed on 7/11/12. He just couldn't recover. He had lost too much weight, and his abscessed molars were too bad. The infection was too strong for the antibiotic. Had 2 points also. The vet said that his teeth would have been bad before I got him. It makes me mad. I loved him so much, in just 1&1/2 months. He was so loving even though he was in pain.
I am devastated. I am so sorry about the loss of your chin. Hopefully your "friend" will
realize on his own that he hurt you w his comments and apologize.

 

[DaddyslilDimwit]

Heck, I had a chin for only HOURS before he died, and I was heartbroken. The people gave him to be saying he's been sick for a while, and they figured he was going to die and didn't want him. So I brought him to the vet and gave him the love he deserved till he passed.

I cried, even my husband was upset at the loss, and he's not a big fan of the ones I already have (he calls them the poop machines)
But that just proves, no matter how small a pet is, or how little time you have them, they are still creatures that can feel pain and emotion, and therefore it is natural that you would feel pain and emotion when you loose them.

 

[ReneeM]

It's become a but easier as almost two weeks have passed now. I'm going to introduce my mom's chin to my remaining boy thus weekend . I'm crossing my fingers they will get along.

My focus is on my remaining boy, and my dog. She is full of tumors, so I guess in a way she is dying. But at least with her I have had two months to prepare myself when I lose her.

 

[Pikaia]

Hey Renee, sorry your friend was acting like that. I have people in my life that say the same thing. In fact, I saw a friend from high school a while back and she asked me when I was having kids. I replied with, "I have three chinchillas and that's enough for right now" She then said, "Oh, those things.. they are so ugly!" Kinda ticked me off, but what can you do? Some people just don't get it. You can get attached to any pet, even a fish! I have a betta named Pierre and I still care about him- even though I can't really do anything with him! lol!

My boyfriend (we've been dating for three months) always makes comments about cats and how much he doesn't like them. I love cats and my parents have a bunch. I would have a cat, but my landlord doesn't allow them- plus my chins would be in danger. lol. He is always joking about how he can get "rid" of the strays at my parents house. It does piss me off and I know that's probably why he does it. People can just be rude and insensitive!