ahhhhh Kids!!

[Jenn1]

my stepson is 6 he came to live here when he was 3 because his mom passed away Kyle Had "issues" so he has been seeing therapist since he was 4 he is sever adhd, bi-polar and has a speech delay. He is medicated for the adhd and bi-polar well he has been doing very very well, or so I thought. I ask my boys everyday how school was and if they had a good day or bad day and whether they got in trouble or not and Kyle always said he was good and got in no trouble. Come to find out Kyle has been in and out of trouble for the last 4 months. this week alone he has been in trouble every day. None of the teachers have contacted me they just told his dr when he would go to the school and the dr just got around to telling me. Iam livid, Kyle gets his meds in the am before school and at night before bed, at the bus stop he is excellent and I even get compliments and when he gets off the bus he is good as gold and continues to be good until bed time. I have been rewarding him for his good work in school and his good attiude and all along he has been terrible. the teacher said he is extremly hyper, dis respects her, demands he gets his way and if he doesnt he screams, he tells her no and even gets kicked out of library for being loud. His dr said that he is just doing this to manipulate us because he still comes home and gets rewarded. He runs from his therapist, stands up on tables and when he gets in trouble he screams dont tell my mom and they dont. I asked him why he acts like this and he says he wants to. we know he can control it because he does not do any of this at home. I have a confrence with the teachers and principal so we can work out better communication. In the meantime I signed him up for t-ball and they have their first game Saturday and I snatched him off the team (there are plenty of kids and my husband is the coach) I think Kyle needs to reliaze that is a privaledge and not something I have to let him do. My other son is on the team so kyle will still have to go Im hoping that is enough to remind him to be good. If this was something he could not help and he was doing it at home then that would be different. Iam soooo frustrated thanks for letting me vent. When I confronted Kyle to day all heck broke loose and I was called every name in the book by him, told no screamed at, slapped at, I have never been treated the way he treated me in my life, as soon as daddy got home he was a sweet angel. Dr said that it is just Kyles bad attiude and nothing being caused by the meds or lack of meds because if it was he would not be able to switch it on and off. Lets hope this faze goes away soon.

 

[DaphnesandFreddysmom]

oh I feel your pain! I have a stepson who is the exact same he acts good as gold and says he is doing really well in school with his grades and not getting in trouble and than we find out from our younger stepson he's getting in trouble a lot (so we're assuming he's getting bad grades too). My stepson is 16 though and has been on meds and everything since he was 9 and has not gotten better at all. I guess sometimes it has to do with the kids because it's not his medication. Hopefully your stepson will get better in time.

 

[Jenn1]

thank you. I hoping things get better. I think by me taking away his baseball it shows him that im not going to be pushed around by him and that I mean what I say. He gets perfect grades all E's and S's it is just his bad attiude.

 

[Chinniechantel]

I am sorry you are dealing with this. I definitely think you need to have better communication with his teachers, that would really make me mad not knowing what is going on. The best of luck!

 

[Snoepgoed123]

I am sorry you are dealing with this. I definitely think you need to have better communication with his teachers, that would really make me mad not knowing what is going on. The best of luck!

That's the part that gets to me most is that he has been having issues at school for 4 months and the teacher or anybody else from the school hasn't contacted you concerning his behavior. I'm studying to be a teacher and one thing that my professors constantly talk about is having a good communication between the teachers and parents.

 

[ErinB]

I think it's a shame that no one contacted you -the teachers, the therapist, or the doctor. If your son has problems it's probably best to keep in contact with them. Maybe once a week go in to talk to his teacher or give her a call on the phone.

Just my opinion, but you say that your son has ADHD and is bipolar. I think being on a sports team would be great for him. Learning teamwork and organization is a great thing and sports are also a wonderful outlet. It gives him exercise and gives him something to strive for. You husband is the coach, so he would be there to keep an eye on the boy and make sure things didn't get out of hand.

Maybe instead of taking away T-ball, you could use something else as a punishment. Does he play video games or games on the computer, or maybe watch TV? Maybe you could take those things away instead. Anyway, just my opinion..

Erin

 

[Jenn1]

just an update. Kyle got mad at me for taking away t-ball and he went to his teachers and told them I choke him and beat him so we had to go thru the whole DCF thing. they came to my home and checked it over and of course everything was fine then they had to take him alone to see a nurse who stripped him down to nothing and searched high and low for signs of abuse and found absolutely nothing not even a scratch so of course nothing came of that but him just having to go with her alone scared the crap out of him so I dont think that will happen again.

 

[Chingal]

WE have a nephew who is dealing with a very traumatic life and adhd and many other behavaioral issues. However, we DID cut down his meds after much research into psychotropic drugs nad hte side effects and we stuck to a very strict, very detailed regimen. Example: Rules are written down as and hung on the wall as well as the consequences if teh yare broken. Then we have a behavior board that we mark with O for outstanding, X for good, Checkmark for needs improvement, and a red x for really bad days. On an o day they get a special treat like video games all by themselves for 1/2 hour or they pick what is for dinner. If they get 5 o's in a week they get a special day with either mom or dad. If they get a red x they get an extra chore the next day. After 3 months of this we have almost totally succeeded in eliminating the crying hysterical fits. We have totally eliminated the violent attacks on his uncle ( he has not been violent to anyone else). He is eating and sleeping normally which before he was a walking zombie all night and never ate more than a bird. His grades are going up and his teacher has even said he is a pleasure to have in class.
I would be happy to share with you the stuff I have learned through research and talking with many experts in the psychiatric field over the last few months. Just PM me.

 

[DaphnesandFreddysmom]

just an update. Kyle got mad at me for taking away t-ball and he went to his teachers and told them I choke him and beat him so we had to go thru the whole DCF thing. they came to my home and checked it over and of course everything was fine then they had to take him alone to see a nurse who stripped him down to nothing and searched high and low for signs of abuse and found absolutely nothing not even a scratch so of course nothing came of that but him just having to go with her alone scared the crap out of him so I dont think that will happen again.

My stepson has tried this a few times as well. The more he tries it though the less apt they are to believe him and if he keeps trying he'll eventually get himself in BIG trouble. My stepson was taken from school and it took us almost a day to get him back the state was sick of his lies and wanted to take matters into their own hand but we barely managed to get him back.